"Having It All," a concept that women have been trying to live up to since the early 1970’s; the beginning of the Women’s Liberation movement, also known as ‘second-wave feminism. For decades now, being a wife, a mother and having a career appear to be the new unspoken goal set for young girls and modern women today. But in reality, what you may perceive as perfection in your sister, your friend, your neighbor or even a celebrity, just isn’t so. According to an ABC News report on May 2, Dancing With The Stars contestant, Candace Cameron Bure is a (no pun intended) perfect example of what can happen if you have a mindset towards perfectionism.
The former “Full House” star said it has been a struggle for her to stay ahead in this competition. Her feelings of nervousness and anxiety were starting to build, prompting her to seek the help of sports psychologist, Dr. Jenn Berman. Candace, the mother of three children, said she was worried that she was somehow letting people down if she failed to score the coveted perfect 10.
“I felt like when I wasn’t performing at my best, I was not only letting myself down but I felt like I was letting my partner down,” she said. “I don’t like disappointing people.”
Many women have what Oprah has described in the past as, “The Disease to Please,” and if you also have a tendency towards perfectionism, it becomes the perfect storm that’s sure to leave you feeling disappointed, exhausted, and a little miffed at the women you think ‘have it all together.’
What was the advice that Dr. Berman gave to Candace? Speaking up and sharing your concerns, finding balance in your life, understanding that no one is perfect, and last but not least, deep breathing.
When you take those few moments to stop, focus, and breathe, you have a better chance of achieving whatever task you need to perform to help you get through your day. Don’t be surprised if one day soon, an exhausted woman looks at you with that same “miffed, you think you have it all together" look, just give her your best “I understand” smile, and don’t forget to share your secret.