After a week away (I missed you all!), I’m back… though, oddly enough, Christina isn’t. Mere moments after scoring the first 10 of the season, the comely Miss Milian got the unceremonious boot. Geez, is nothing sacred?
So now we arrive at the halfway point and the first double dance of the season. It’s “Switch-up Challenge” night!
Away we go:
Bill E. & Emma (Tango) – Over the years I’ve seen a lot of Tangos (Argentinian and otherwise) here on our beloved television program… but I’ve never seen anything quite like that—in a good way. (A) Give Emma all kinds of credit for the idea of choreographing a Tango to the dulcet tones of Jimmy Buffet’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise” and (B) give Bill equal amounts of kudos for actually pulling it off. I think the other couples may have to play ketchup tonight. Get it? “Catch up”? …Wait, was that a groan I just heard?
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 7
Elizabeth & Val (Cha-Cha-Cha) – She may have been the recipient of a lot of (justifiable) crap over the years because of Showgirls (and, let’s face it, Saved By the Bell), but Elizabeth’s got the gams and the hips and the talent to actually pull this thing off. After five straight weeks of just being in the competition, she has finally arrived. And with that, we get the first perfect 30 of the season.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 10, Len: 10, Bruno: 10
Leah & Tony (Quickstep) – I actually went back and watched the routine again after seeing the judges’ gushy reactions, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t see it. The whole thing was flat, stumbly-bumbly, and just not at all good. So… either the judges are in an inordinately good mood, are high, or are now accepting pay-offs. Whatever it is, I cry foul.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 9
Brant & Peta (Tango) – I get playing up the whole Pretty Little Liars angle (Hi Mona!) to appeal to the shared DWTS demographic, but guys—it’s been a year since we last saw him in Rosewood. Seriously—it was last year’s Halloween episode. (p.s. This year’s is tomorrow night.) Bygones—Brant’s been a bit of a dark horse this season, and this week he became… a bright horse? Nicely done, Noel Kahn.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 10, Bruno: 9
Amber & Derek (Samba) – With apologies to 69 Boyz, “Let me see that Samba Roll! That Samba Roll!” Amber dances like a crazy woman, and then Len judges like a crazy old man, completely forgetting that he’s supposed to be grading the star’s ability to dance and not the pro’s ability to insert the right amount of voltas and botafogos. Get over yourself, pedantic Len!
Scores: Carrie Ann: 10, Len: 8, Bruno: 10
Jack & Cheryl (Paso Doble) – Sorry, all I got from that is that Bruno wants Jack to put his crotch forward, and Carrie Ann wants him to get stiff for Cheryl. Huh what?
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 9, Bruno: 8
Nicole & Sasha (Foxtrot) – As much as I don’t want to like her (sorry, but Jersey Shore does not make you a star, no matter how fast and loose you are with the definition), Nicole keeps getting better. I wouldn’t say she was a full point better than Amber (ahem, Len!), but she’s not too shabby at all.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 9
Corbin & Karina (Viennese Waltz) – Channeling his inner Drogo, Corbin waltzed to the GoT theme but forgot it was a waltz and instead did some kind of steroid-induced Paso Doble-ish thing. In the process, he got his lowest scores of the season so far, tied for dead smack last with that redneck comedian fella. Ouch.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 7, Bruno: 8
Group 1 (Jack, Corbin, Bill, Nicole) - Bill took his shirt off. Did anything else happen?
Group 2 (Elizabeth, Amber, Brant, Leah) - To the best of my knowledge, Bill still hasn't put his shirt back on.
"The first couple safe is Elizabeth and Val!" Also safe are Amber, Brant, Leah, Corbin, and Nicole. Jack and Bill and in jeopardy.
And Jack and Bill are safe. Due to technical difficulties, last week's votes were a wash, so everyone's back for Week Seven. What a gip!
Final Scores (First Round + Switch-Up):
Amber – 28+4=32
Elizabeth – 30+2=32
Brant – 28+3=31
Nicole – 27+3=30
Leah – 27+1=28
Corbin – 23+4=27
Jack – 25+2=27
Bill E. – 23+1=24
Next week, star and pro #5 finally (!) get the boot... See you Monday.
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