When you're 77 years old; author of nearly 20 books; and can claim to have been educated at Stanford University and Harvard Law School; needless to say, you can speak quite highly of your chances (and motives) for running to become the next mayor of Minneapolis, especially when you hold in your back pocket the kind of fortuitous contrivance that can only be rivaled by those who happen to share your non-interest in following the future of professional football in Minnesota in that $975 million monstrosity replete with 400-spot parking garage, skyway, and 95-foot pivoting glass doors at the main entrance...oh yeah, otherwise known as the 2016 Minnesota Vikings downtown stadium.
This is an invention the Wilf's will try to convince anyone who will listen is as necessary as Prince's need was to build Paisley Park - only the thought of having it privately funded was as asinine to them as Prince's attempts to continue making quality music; then again, ask any billionaire and it's much easier to have others considerably less affluent fund your noble inventions. Or just ask Dan Cohen - not to suggest he's a billionaire by any stretch of the imagination. He'll insist the reasons to build a casino in the heart of downtown Minneapolis are far more prospective and beneficial all-around...Why not?! It doesn't call for sir taxpayer lining the pockets of the greedy Wilf's with hard earned income. Hell no! Why do that when they can toss it over to blackjack dealers and stuff it into slot machines?! Oh yeah, and the jobs! Not to mention to countless number of jobs the downtown casino will provide...because, after all, the stadium won't provide any, right?! Only temporary, seasonal ones...Unlike the permanent, year-round; hotel, retail, and restaurant employment of the casino.
This was Cohen Tuesday speaking to the Minneapolis Council on his 2013 campaign's central premise: To defeat the Wilf's 2016 stadium campaign. Sadly, it's far more flawed and only holds the support of a far less sizable extent. Luckily for him, though, he only needs the support of a city and has the benefit of going door to door to try and win that vote, something the Wilf's could only dream of. If they needed it. In their favor most Minnesotans aren't senior citizens desperate to throw away their cash at a casino on a weekly basis; we'd far prefer our football. Wouldn't we? Let's be honest, now. And, after all, isn't Cohen's casino idea really just a cop out for someone dissatisfied with NFL politics?
It may sound like I'm rushing to the Wilf's defense when really I'm not. I'm merely defending the need for communal satisfaction (which is really what NFL Sundays provide) over provisional entertainment; the only benefaction Cohen can adhere to with the flawed reasoning of his casino project. At least the Wilf's have addressed the existence of flaws in the proposed stadium's design. For starters, they've agreed doing without the pivoting glass entry doors and considered putting the parking garage and skyway on the chopping block. Not to be overly complimentary, this is likely more out economic necessity, though, and less out of arbitration. Leading the Wilf's to financial acquiescence has to be about as easy as convincing voters that Cohen's major concern is removing the tax burden of the typical Minneapolis resident.
Yet when you're 77 and time is running out on seeking that long coveted Mayoral title, I guess the easiest campaign staple to go on is the benefit of private enterprise...Just think: property taxes, operating taxes, corporate income taxes, personal income taxes, and licensing fees. Not to mention, the assurance that the downtown casino will be a year round tourist attraction. Not like we need the Mall of America for anything, right?
But don't dare mention this to Cohen. To suggest the notion of impracticality in his plan will undoubtedly disturb him as much as his distaste for the Wilf's objective; only without highlighting the obviousness of its infernal flaws...