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Daddy Issues Defined

If this isn't a red flag for you, I don't know what is.
If this isn't a red flag for you, I don't know what is.
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With Father's Day in the rearview, it seemed appropriate to take a look at a few of the biggest daddy issues that can plague an otherwise great-on-paper-girl.

Guys, be sure to make note of warning signs for these issues so you know to proceed with caution. But rest assured, there are solutions for each.

Daddy's Girl

Every guy secretly fears dating a daddy's girl. This is a reciprocal relationship whereby the father still looks at his daughter as a princess and no one is good enough for her. She in turn, puts her papa on a pedestal and strives to find someone as awesome as him to make her mate. You think you're that guy.

Warning Signs of a Daddy's Girl:

  • He cleans his gun when you come around the house or plays the song of the same name by Rodney Atkins
  • He refers to her as princess, precious or some other outlandish term of endearment that seems slightly inappropriate
  • He seems to care more about his daughter than his wife
  • She starts nearly every sentence with "Daddy said..." or "Daddy thinks..."
  • She takes offense when you make even the smallest reference to her dad not being perfect
  • They call/text/email/hang out A LOT
  • She shows signs of having an Electra Complex

Deadbeat Dad

The good news about dating a girl with a deadbeat dad is a) it's one less person you have to meet and win over and b) if you leave her, she's used to it! All kidding aside, a girl who never met her father or doesn't remember him it was so long ago, is bound to have trust issues and fears of abandonment. Another version of this is dating a single mom, whose baby daddy jumped ship. She brings both physical and emotional baggage as a result of previously dating a deadbeat dad.

Warning Signs of a Deadbeat Dad:

  • She's overly eager to fill the void in her life with a man, regardless of how bad a fit he is
  • She gets emotionally attached very early on
  • She tends to have low self-esteem and is very distrustful (password protect your phone STAT)
  • For single moms, she's anxious to find a father figure for her child, but is extremely apprehensive

Dirty Dad

Sadly, this happens enough that is has to be addressed. If you've ever listened to Loveline, (which plays from 10-12 each night on 106.7 in Denver) you've become accustomed to Dr. Drew spotting these girl victims a mile away. Although it isn't necessarily her biological father, (it could've been her uncle, grandfather, step-father, etc.) for simplicity, they're all being lumped into one category.

This awful situation entails your lady having been a victim of sexual abuse from a male person of trust. Of course, at first glance, the warning signs could be characteristic to a girl who has never been abused, so make sure there's a combination of signs before jumping to conclusions. And as appealing as it might be at first (she's sexually uninhibited, she wants to bed you right away), DO take it slow with these girls.

Warning Signs of a Dirty Dad:

  • She is promiscuous and overtly sexually aggressive
  • She feels as if she has to satisfy you sexually to win your affection
  • She has difficulty trusting men and always thinks there is an ulterior motive
  • She is or was at one point an exotic dancer, porn star, escort, or other such seedy job holder

Passive Papa

This type of daddy issue is harder to spot, and it might seem to be a low level threat, but it should be acknowledged. A woman whose father is still in the picture and has never laid a hand on her can still have daddy issues if he never played a leading role in her life.

These dads may have had their own issues growing up or just never really knew how to play the part. They are often the breadwinner, but seldom the knight in shining armor. They weren't affectionate, weren't involved, weren't overly supportive, and overall just didn't seem to care.

Symptoms of a Passive Papa:

  • She is highly independent and tends to be a workaholic
  • She seeks aggressive males to be in her life
  • She has a difficult time letting her walls come down and committing fully to love
  • Her dad, when you meet him, doesn't seem protective or caring towards her, the sisters (if applicable), or even her mom

If your lady shows a combination of warning signs indicating she might have one or more of these daddy issues, ask her about her family and her relationships with her parents. She may have already gone through therapy to deal with these issues, or it may be something she should look into in order to maintain a healthy relationship with the man in her life.

If she's someone you're willing to take a chance on, be supportive of her. Open communication and tolerance for behavior that could normally be classified as a dealbreaker, are key to overcoming these obstacles.

If she's in denial about her issues and refuses to make steps in the right direction, then maybe it's best for you to move on and find someone without daddy issues. After all, there are millions of women out there without them.


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