Kim Fredrickson is a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with children and families in Roseville. According to Fredrickson, kids cyberbully for a variety of reasons.
“Bullies act out their own anger, powerlessness, or pretend to be more powerful or aggressive in fantasy, than they are in real life. Cyberbullying gives some kids a way to act out believing that they will not get in trouble in real life. Most of the time the cyberbully has no idea how damaging, violating, and even scary his/her actions are,” Fredrickson said.
So it is important to cut the bully down to size in your own mind, and then your child can feel your confidence in knowing that bullies are the product of victim mentality.
Fredrickson advises:
- If your child comes to you with an online concern stay calm. Share the strength of your concern with another adult, so your child doesn’t feel they have to take care of you.
- Be supportive. Acknowledge that this type of verbal abuse of words can be very hurtful.
- Talk to your child/teen about how valuable they are, and how they deserve respect.
- Problem-solve ways they can handle this themselves (block a phone #, or e-mail address, etc); ignore for a short time to see if the bully loses interest, etc.
- Pull in resources as needed. Let the school know so the school counselor/teacher can keep an eye out for on campus bullying and for how your child is handling things. If more help is needed, you may want to notify your child’s Doctor, counselor or clergy for support.
The positive part of this is that teaching your child to value themselves, as well step in to set boundaries to care for themselves, are lessons that they need to learn sometime, and will benefit them for a lifetime.
For more about cyberbullying go to: Why kids cyberbully and what to do about it
Parent Resources
- Banana Moments
- Smart Schools
- A Parents’ Guide to Cyber Citizenship
- Encouraging Relationships
- Kim Fredrickson
(Ref: 416-e)
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