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Cyber parents must ask who is in charge of your family life

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September 28, 2013

Lisa Oz, motivational author and speaker, delivered the keynote speech at the inaugural Capital Region Women’s Conference on Health and Wealth yesterday at the Sacramento Convention Center. Her message has practical value for parents today who must govern homes with cyber-powered communications which can distract us from the important things in life – like personal growth.

“Addiction is a way to avoid growth, to numb ourselves to find soothing from whatever is causing irritation or discomfort,” Oz said. “Addiction, to the device, television, substances – it is whatever actually prevents us to make a decision to change.”

Oz described how multi-tasking is not productive; it makes you less efficient in your efforts, giving an example of someone in her yoga class texting while in downward-dog pose. “When we are distracted, we are less efficient,” she said.

So the big question for governing cyber-powered homes is what role will technology play in your daily lives? What example do you set for your children about whether you make the choices to focus on tasks and activities worthy of your time and attention? Below are some considerations for formulating house rules about the role of technology in the home that train your children to be in charge of their life.

  • Cyber communications are a privilege not a right. This means that just like driving a car, children are trained on the responsible use of the cyber apps and tools with levels of autonomy and connectivity commensurate with demonstrated good judgment.
  • Regulate schedule and access to cyber tools.
  • No secrets, no surprises. There is no privacy in the cyber realm, and granting children privacy is the most dangerous thing parents can do with technology. Always inspect what you expect. Tell your children that you are expecting them to be making good decisions on and off line and that you will be conducting random checks of texts, posts and internet searches.
  • Unplug at the end of the day. Establish a designated time at the end of the day to turn off the devices.
  • Only hit “send” if your mother could read it and be proud.
  • Have consequences for violations that allow kids to change, stand corrected and regain privileges.

For more about preparing children to be free agents in the flesh and in the social network, go to: A Google World in the Garden of Eden: Five Family-Safe Strategies for Texting and Social Media

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