Despair is a dangerous thing. Do you think the disciples despaired after falling asleep in Gethsemane? Jesus said, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” (Mt 26:38)
We know the story. It is no wonder after the crucifixion they were cowering and hiding from public scrutiny. There was far more going on here than just worry about the Roman authorities. They had the incredible opportunity to encourage Jesus by staying awake, but they blew it. They must have felt it was unforgivable to have fallen asleep instead of watching over Jesus.
Who has not felt the sense of the irreparable? Words we cannot take back, deeds we cannot undo, missed opportunities to act. It is far worse when people you love suffer because of your mistakes. It is no wonder despair is such a powerful immobilizer. Who has not said, “It’s all over now, there is no point in trying anymore?”
What makes us get up and keep going? What made the disciples come out of hiding to become martyrs to the testimony of the risen Christ? There were no pharmaceuticals then; no butterflies drifting gently over you at night to help you sleep, no pills to make you smile, no energy drinks to get you going, not even coffee to breathe life into old bones like mine.
Have you experienced a funk so deep you were unable to lift yourself up or out? What happened to the disciples that broke the spell over them?
Intellectual ability and awareness, diligent discipline, stubborn denial, emotional embarrassment, fear, and even the anger that reacts to unsympathetic criticism can motivate us to do things beyond our normal capability. Despair, however, is a spiritual sickness that demands a spiritual cure.
For some of us the cure can be found in our knowledge that we are loved by family and friends; that we matter to them. For others it might be the awareness of being needed by a child, parent, friend or even a stranger. Our surrender, our failure will hurt them. For some of us it might be the knowledge that through it all, God loves us. In all cases, whatever name you masquerade it in, love is the cure for despair.
The resurrection of Jesus brought the disciples back to life. It was a testimonial act by the Father, sending Jesus, that they were, contrary to how they felt, loved. Love, not power, not knowledge, not wealth, is the key to breaking the power of despair. Breaking the power of despair is the mission of the Church and the mission of the child of God. When compassion motivates people to invest themselves in others … the kingdom of God is present … no matter what you call it.
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