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Cubicle 101: 15 questions to ask during a job interview, decoded


Thanks to this ancient decoding script, we now know
the purpose behind asking employers certain questions
during an interview.

It's common knowledge that a candidate needs to ask questions during an interview if they are going to be taken seriously.  Unfortunately, the questions that experts suggest asking often skim the surface of what you truly want to find out about the company. 

To help people with these questions, 15 of the suggested questions are decoded below to shed light on what you truly want answered.
 

#1 - The future of the company

Expert's suggestion:
Does the company plan to grow in the near future? 

Actual question:
Are you going to close the doors within the next 5 years, and if that does happen, will you pay your employees before the doors shut?

#2 - The future of the industry

Expert's suggestion:
Will this industry continue to be strong in the near and distant future?

Actual question:
How do you plan to deal with the fact that no one will want to purchase your product/service in 3 years?

#3 - Information about competitors

Expert's suggestion:
How do you rank among your competitors?

Actual question:
What do your competitors do better than this company and why isn't this company capable of doing it?

#4 - Position availability

Expert's suggestion:
Why is this position available now?

Actual question:
Why did the previous employee quit, or why did you fire the last employee?

#5 - Skill set they are looking to gain from the new hire

Expert's suggestion:
What skills are you looking your new hire to have that don't already exist in the department?

Actual question:
Of the skills listed on the job ad, how many of them are actually relevant to the position?

#6 - The purpose of the department within the company

Expert's suggestion:
How does the company fit into the company's operations?

Actual question:
How many departments are there within this company that do almost the exact same thing as your department?  In other words, will this department be eliminated and thus I will be laid off?

#7 - Career options in the department

Expert's suggestion:
What type of career path options are there within the department?

Actual question:
Is this position a dead-end job?

#8 - Career options within the company

Expert's suggestion:
What type of options does the company offer for lateral moves?

Actual question:
There is a high likelihood I will hate this job.  Is there any way to transfer to new jobs once I hate the position?  What about when I hate the next position?

#9 - Daily responsibilities

Expert's suggestion:
Could you describe the daily activities or responsibilities of the job -- a typical day in the life of this position?

Actual question:
Could you talk about the job some more while I try to think of more questions?

#10 - Immediate expectations

Expert's suggestion:
What are the expectations of this position during the first three months on the job?

Actual question:
Will I be expected to work hard during the first quarter of my employment or will I be able to drag out my inexperience as an excuse for my ineffectiveness?

#11 - Evaluating performance

Expert's suggestion:
What is the evaluation process at the company and how often are employees evaluated?

Actual question:
How easy is it to get away with doing as little as possible?

#12 - Interviewer's opinion

Expert's suggestion:
Have you enjoyed your experience thus far at the company? Why?

Actual question:
What sucks about this company?

#13 - Pay range

Expert's suggestion:
[Experts do not suggest asking this question.]

Actual question:
Why is it such a friggen secret how much this position pays?

#14 - Benefits

Expert's suggestion:
What type of standard and fringe benefits are offered to employees?

Actual question:
Can you please explain why the pay is so incredibly low for this position?

#15 - Next steps

Expert's suggestion:
What are the next steps in the interview process?

Actual question:
Are you going to friggen hire me after this interview or what?

Sources used for this article:
The best questions to ask in an interview, CareerBuilder.com

Questions to ask employers during an interview, Virginia Tech
Questions you should ask in your interview, Pam Pohly's Net Guide
 

---

Cubicle 101 is a recurring article in Dudley B. Dawson's Life in the Cubicle column.  Want to read more Cubicle 101 stories?  Click here!

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Dudley Bernard Dawson is the best known "Parachute" journalist west of the Mississippi River. His cultural criticisms often lack evidence but his handsome looks are second to none.

Comments

  • gc-oh 2 years ago

    If only I had this list of questions before my last interview. I could have saved myself a lot of headaches. But then they were willing to hire me. That should have been a red flag. Live and learn suckers!

  • James 2 years ago

    Wow. I asked, "What's the penalty for being caught with a farm animal during your break period? Will I have to attend a sexual harassment seminar again?"
    Another favorite of mine: "Does your company support religious activities in the breakroom...even when they involve boa constrictors?"
    p.s. Neither one of these have ever led to a job offer.

  • J?ff S. 2 years ago

    Yeah, GC... kinda like that old Groucho Marx bit: I wouldn't want to work for any company that would hire me as an employee.

  • Brace Dickman, MBA, SPHR, CSP 2 years ago

    Great questions and excellent advice! In my industry we use a lot of these questions on our client companies when deciding to work on their jobs or not. After all, we need the real scoop, not some useless boilerplate list of corporate speak. Personally, I'd recommend such questions be asked by confident candidates as it will separate them from the rest.

  • throbo 2 years ago

    My favorite questions on interviews is 1. How many sick days can I take without being fired? and 2. You don't drug test, do you?

  • Dudley B. Dawson 2 years ago

    If you ask "What are the next steps?" in a very nervous voice, it likely means "You don't drug test do you?". Thanks throbo, nice addition.

  • Maazi Tochukwu Ezeoke 2 years ago

    "Can you please explain why the pay is so incredibly low for this position?" thats my favourite. hahahaha, how I wish i could remember thiese questions. Wouldn't an employer consider you too noisy??

  • Terri 2 years ago

    wow, I'd never use the phrase "sucks at your company" in an interview. The general message makes sense but words are not professional. Surprised someone published this.

  • Dudley B. Dawson 2 years ago

    Terri - Do you ever wonder why people are laughing around you?

  • Charlie 2 years ago

    Wow - that is a really accurate decoding of interview questions. Can you please publish a list of questions EMPLOYERS ask and what they REALLY are asking ?

    thanks.

  • Kristal 2 years ago

    #13 - Why is it such a secret? Every job should have a pay range which should be clearly stated when the position is posted. It would avoid wasting time to both parties involved.

  • Squwackie 2 years ago

    dudley b. dawson, you are a jerk. I read Terri's comments regarding "sucks at your company" and I agree with her. Your response, well, I guess I'd insult someone too if I had no leg to stand on regarding something stupid.

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