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Coupons on dates, tacky or thrifty?

Dear Diva,

I went out with a guy for the first time last week. We went for dinner, and had a good time. He offered to pick up the check (nice), because he said he had a coupon to pay for mine… What do I think about this? Does that mean he is cheap or thrifty? If he didn’t have the coupon, would he have still offered to pick up the check? If I go out with him again, will we only be going to places he has coupons for? I don’t want to seem like a snob, but didn’t that kind of cheapen the date a bit?
Signed Coupon Confused in Coppell

Dear All-in-how-you-look-at-it
,

I love this question, because I imagine there will be a few different opinions about it. You ask, “What should I think about this?” Well, I don’t know. What DO you think about this? I tend to the side of graciousness, in any situation. I think the more important question here is: Beyond the check, do you like the guy? Did you have a great time with him? If that is the case I would let the coupon situation go and see how things go from here. It’s only the first date after all. Maybe he was trying to make a good impression on you by taking you somewhere a bit nicer than he could usually afford?

As I have said a million times, everyone has a different definition of “what good looks like to them”. Financial status and money are a part of that. So is being thrifty, and handling money well. Some women may look at a man that does that as being smart with their money. The more money he saves on dinner, the more he has for other things. Would you rather be at a restaurant with a great guy and a coupon, or at home making TV dinners petting your cat?

That being said, If a man wrote and asked me if it was ok to use a coupon on the first date, I might advise him against it, and to simply go somewhere more affordable. I know that sounds contradictory to what I just said, but I would advise him of that due to the very reason I received a letter like yours. I wouldn’t want him to give the girl the impression that she was not important or to “cheapen” the date. But he did it, and now its up to you to decide if its a deal-breaker or not. Only you know what good looks like to you.

For me personally, if I really liked everything else about the guy, I would let it go and see how things progressed after a few more dates. I don’t think one date is a good judge of someones overall character. If you didn’t really like the guy, well the coupon question is a moot point isn’t it?

As usual, this is just one Diva’s opinion. I always welcome yours.

Love, Diva

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