Is your husband or boyfriend a sex addict like Tiger Woods or
Jesse James? Check the list of behaviors and characteristics
below to find out. If he's addicted to sex, consult the list of
sex addiction programs at the end. Photos: AP file
With cheating celebrities like Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Duchovny, and Steve Phillips checking into rehabs for sex addiction treatment, many women with cheating spouses or significant others are asking themselves the following question:
Could my husband or boyfriend be a sex addict, too?
Only a qualified medical professional can make an accurate diagnosis as to whether or not a person is addicted to sex. (Yes, women can be sex addicts, too.)
Since so many women have written or called me requesting information about sex addicts or sex addiction, I’ve compiled a list of behaviors common to sex addicts, which can give you a general idea.
But first, there are a few things about sex addiction you should know.
Not All Medical Professionals Agree about Sex Addiction
Sex addiction is a highly controversial topic – even in medical circles. When it comes to sex addiction, not all medical professionals are convinced that it actually exists.
But a growing number of medical professionals believe that sex addiction is a very real disorder that affects an estimated 16 million Americans.
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) estimates that there are nearly 12 million sex addicts in the United States.
Those estimates include high profile cheaters like Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Steve Phillips, and David Duchovny, as well as the man next door.
Only a Medical Professional Can Tell for Sure
As I mentioned at the outset, only a qualified medical professional can make an accurate diagnosis about whether or not someone is a true sex addict.
But anyone can look at a list of common behaviors, and make an educated guess.
So check the list below, and if it seems like your husband or boyfriend could really be addicted to sex, encourage him to get help from one of the sex addiction programs at the end of the list.
Characteristics and Behaviors Common to Sex Addicts
Listed below are almost behaviors and characteristics common to sex addicts. The list is based on information gathered from several medical websites, so some of the items may slightly overlap. Refer to the sex addiction programs at the end of the list, if you think your husband or boyfriend needs help.
1. Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include multiple partners, multiple affairs, and unsafe sex.
2. The term sex addiction describes the behavior of someone who has an unusually strong sex drive or sexual obsession.
3. Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and the associated risks and consequences.
4. Sex addiction is defined by an addict's compulsive use of sex to address non-sexual emotional needs. That compulsive behavior completely dominates the addict's life.
5. Sex addicts turn to sex when they need comfort, like binge eaters turn to food.
6. Sex addicts may engage in exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitution, compulsive masturbation, or cybersex.
7. A sex addict has an uncontrollable urge to have sex with many different partners.
8. A sex addict may withdraw or become frustrated over his inability to cut back or stop engaging in his addictive behavior.
9. Like other addicts, a sex addict becomes preoccupied with a behavior that is used to numb his or her feelings.
10. A sex addict lacks normal coping mechanisms and uses sex as a way to self-medicate every feeling.
11. Sex and thoughts of sex dominate a sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.
12. Some sex addicts are known to be shameful, suicidal, and prone to other addictions, as well.
13. A sex addict, like all addicts, continues such behaviors despite decreased pleasure and the negative and serious consequences they bring.
14. People with a sex addiction often have a history of emotional and sexual abuse.
15. Most sex addicts have an intense preoccupation with sexual urges, fantasies and behaviors.
16. Sex addiction is characterized by the addict’s lying or minimizing his involvement with sexual activities.
17. A man who is addicted to sex will use sexual activities to escape from his problems.
18. A sex addict will often waste time or neglect other responsibilities because of his sexual preoccupation.
19. The majority of people who struggle with sex addiction are men, and their sex addiction becomes the most important need in their lives.
20. Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior.
21. Sex addiction is almost always about a secret life. The addict displays increasingly secretive behavior and deception.
22. A sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.
23. Sexual addiction is often accompanied by other addictions, such as an addiction to work or chemicals.
Programs Where Sex Addicts Can Get Help
The following 12-Step Groups are free, peer-led support groups based on the program of recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous. You can find local meeting schedules online. There is usually a group contact person who can answer questions.
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) — www.sexaa.org
12-Step Group for sex addicts
SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) — www.slaafws.org
12-Step Group for sex and love addicts
COSA (Co-Sex Addicts Anonymous) — www.cosa-recovery.org
12-Step Group for partners and families of sex-addicts
S-Anon (Alanon for Co-Sex Addicts) — www.sanon.org
12-Step Group for partners and families of sex-addicts
Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) — www.recovering-couples.org
12-Step Group for couples where one partner is an addict (including sex-addict)
*** List of 12 Step Groups for Sex Addicts courtesy of
Don L. Mathews, MFT, Director of Impulse Treatment Center www.SexAddictTreatment.net
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*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com , the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes theInfidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
For more information on sex addiction, or other reasons men cheat, see the articles below.:
Does Tiger Woods Fit the Profile of a Sex Addict? – Check This List If You Really Want to Know
Tiger Woods' Infidelity Due to Sex Addiction Plus Drugs that Boosted His Sex Drive
Is Steve Phillips Using Sex Addiction as an Excuse for His Infidelity?
Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat
Is There a Gene that Makes Men Cheat?
14 Reasons Why Tiger Woods and Other Rich and Famous Men Cheat
Why Politicians Cheat and What Their Wives Can Do
Why Women Stay with Men Who Cheat
Go or Stay? – How to Decide Whether on Not to Give a Cheater a Second Chance (free tip sheet)
Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports
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