For anyone, the sting of losing a loved one can be mentally crippling. How do we accept that someone that was such a bright part of our life is gone from this earth forever and will never get to interact with us again? The answer is obviously not a simple one and some of the pain from the loss may always remain in our heart. The good news, however, is that there are steps we can take to help ease the confusion and helplessness during the process of acceptance.
The first stage of grieving that has to be overcome in order to continue on is denial. Denial is the strongest numbing mechanism. When the shock of the occurence is first so overwhelming, we try to convince ourselves that it didn't really happen. This has to be a dream...right? Well, if we give ourselves permission and time to cry and reminisce on that special person's life, it becomes apparent that this indeed did happen and the denial starts to slowly fade.
After denial comes the anger. Why and how did this happen? How could such a good person be taken from this earth? We may start hitting inanimate objects, screaming, crying uncontrollably, and refusing to eat. Of course, the amount of denial and anger will vary depending on whether the loss was expected or unexpected. We may also be angry at the person that has died for leaving us behind but we can't feel guilty for this is normal. Realizing that we nor the person who has passed is at fault and that unfair things simply happen in life is the key to overcoming the anger.
Usually after the intensity of denial and anger has reigned, we will start to question what we could have personally done differently in an attempt to regain some sense of control and order in our minds. "If only we had tried this or that..." The bottom line is that something happened that was not in our control and it is not our fault.
The hardest to overcome of all is the depression that sets in. This can be long-term if we let it. The best thing we can do for ourselves when mourning a loss is to keep positive thoughts and explanations flowing through our mind. We will never know exactly why things happen the way that they do and that it is part of the journey of being human. Looking at pictures and videos of happy times during that individual's life is a good way to start moving on.
We just have to remember that no matter what religion we are or what we do or do not believe in, the person that we lost will always be a part of us.