One could it find amazing that continued growth and learning in your marriage can come from your adult children. Through the good times you can feel their happiness and joy, watching them grow and learn through their own life experiences seems to keep your marital bond tight and moving forward. Watching them flourish in life seems to bring some inter-peace.
Most every couple, surely, can share in the happy times with their adult children, and continues to grow with them and learn with them. After all, parenting doesn’t come with learners manual, continued open-mindedness should be a must. On flip side, does watching them go through times in their lives influence your marriage, most would say yes.
One would hope that their chaos wouldn’t bleed over into your marriage but instead draw you closer. This could be a very vulnerable time in everyone’s life. Drawing strength from one another, leaning on each other and being as emotionally stable as possible could be the turning point for your adult children. This is where your adult children learn from you because even as young adults they will experience several first time issues. Should it be that your years of experience and wisdom be a teaching tool in these times.
And if the issue is such that it creates heavy emotions for you, this is where you lean on each other, draw strength from each other, in turn strengthening your emotion and spiritual bond. Whether it’s your chaos or adult children’s chaos, them watch you grow and learn from it with them is key in creating lasting tools in their future relationships.
Seeing how your love and support of each other and for them may just be what gets them over the next perceived sink hole in their life. Your marriage is a lifelong teaching tool, you can’t allow for your marriage to taken over by borrowed stress and anxiety, not saying that, boundaries are good. Families can break apart for as diverse reasons as there are human beings. One person can absorb all of the stress of taking care of a sick child, resent it and then want out.
Bankruptcy, foreclosure and a myriad of other problems can start a family and a marriage onto the slippery slope. Loss of jobs can throw your whole family into the muck. All of these issues can plague a new relationship or marriage, everyone news the difficulties of just getting your new independents/new marriage off the ground. The good news is that all of this can be reversed. If two people want to hold their family together, it can be done. The road is rocky and painful but it can be done.
Everyone on the planet has to go through some kind of pain in their life in order to learn from it, in order to get closer to the God of his or her understanding, in order to mend their lives and their marriage. In many ways to shake off the immaturity of their youths and grow up into mature human beings. Their growth can be your growth and vice versa, your spiritual maturity can become their spiritual maturity and vice versa.
Both marriages, young and old, can grow with each other. We have talked about how your young children while the home learn from your marriage, the teaching never stops. They are still headed for a slew of first time experiences that will bring levels of stress of and anxiety they hadn’t experienced yet, and several that you haven’t experienced.
Go through it together, create a growth moment out of it and support each other’s marriage if it’s possible. Maintain your boundaries but help the young marriage remember, the issue may not need to be the end of your marriage, so many young are quick to throw in the marital towel. It may be simply because of the lack of support.
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