Every January millions of people make promises to make changes in their lives through resolutions they make on New Years Eve. The majority of those same people give up on these commitments by February or March. The question you may ask is, "why do so many people contemplate transitions in their lives only to fall short on the carrying them out a few weeks later?" I would suggest it has something to do with the fact that most people are really good at coming up with ideas but not as good at seeing them through. Maybe it has something to do with the references we all have to goal setting from our lives.
When we are very young we are open to all the influences in our world the primary ones being our families of origin. When we go to school our peer group and our teachers become the main source of modeling for us. Somewhere along the way a disconnect occurs from the desires we have to the ones that are given to us by those around us. It becomes important for us to develop a strong sense of self as well as our beliefs and values when creating our persona.
Living in the United States is a reference builder all by itself. People from other countries have different references which creates a different view of things. When considering this question I always come back to the actual creating of resolutions as step one in a process of many steps. It is my belief that to create lasting shifts in ones life we must address our limiting beliefs borne of our references.
The first task should be to tap in to the uniqueness in each of us that is lost in the need to conform in order to fit in. Being a part of any organized group such as the school system tends to engender group think leading to a flock mentality. Individuality is discouraged in the name of ease of instruction. What you might ask does this have to do with the ritual of making resolutions that don't get carried out. I am suggesting this process as an adult is influenced by the experiences in our growing years that blur our individuality. Part of the challenge is to maintain clear distinctions in our approach to our world which allows for a deeper experience. Most of us aren't taught how to reach goals, most of us are simply taught to have them only.
My commitment to myself after having the opportunity to step outside of the conformity I was taught is not to make resolutions, it is to live as if the outcome is already achieved. By envisioning the outcome with non faltering focus it will be attained. My further promise to myself is to be sure to teach my young sons to filter everything they learn as a part of the puzzle not the whole. Being able to maintain a strong sense of self will allow them to find their gifts in life and share them with the world.
In the final analysis, in making resolutions remember they are only as good as your ability to stay the course-stay engaged in living the change you seek.
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