Curiosity finally got the better of me and I viewed The Apology of Tiger Woods. Aware that this was a public statement potentially rife with multi agendas, I wondered if anything of use could be untangled from it.
With our recent ideas about child rearing and FAKE MAD still on my mind, I was reminded of the other side of the coin…FAKE SORRY. Sounds awful too, doesn’t it. Nobody has the right to issue a carefully prepared apology and expect anyone to believe it, right?
Believe it, maybe not. Let’s put Tiger where he belongs, back among the population at large and even imagine him a child. (Laughing permitted).
You have likely heard a parent here or there doubt the sincerity of their kid’s apology and spend potentially more time demanding that they mean it, than the time it took to run afoul. Frankly I’m doing it with a grown athlete I’ll never meet, underscoring the time and energy wasted (I’ll cop).
Trust is not based on the quality of remorse, but an act of trust is faith in a long term outcome. That means accepting an apology with unconditional grace and reassurance. It’s been done for you, so pass it on.
Some children are adept at the fake apology. So good, we may not notice the ‘stomach-ache’ two days later that belies a clear conscience.
Some kids are less willing to put it out there (maybe because they are simply not sorry yet, or never will be. –Things-Out-Of-Our-Control-ALERT-!) Some of you know where this is headed… Try establishing the expectation (good word to use in kid dialogue, “expect”). “I expect you to apologize. It is not my concern if you mean it just now. I believe your heart will know. I like second apologies very much anyway”.
House Rules: take idea and write your own script. You, as always, know best.
You’ve had your heart melted before, when your babes come back and really need that hug, finally. And the courage to face anything and belief that 2nd chances come with the contract of life.
I want to thank Tiger for generating several themes for a Conflict Resolution Examiner and feel he’s done enough for us and look forward to his tale to remaining a private one. Time to move on….UNLESS he get’s that I-message right! Then I’ll have nothing but a hug and praise in that case!
Keep your ideas and comments coming and firstname.lastname@example.org. There are a lot of you joining the resolution and that’s so very encouraging to us all!