Sometimes telling another soul is the best healing therapy in the world. Confession is a dirty word to some individuals, 'fessing up to crimes and misdeeds will show dark sides, and the fear that resides there within them. The fear, of what others will think about me, am I a bad person.
I used to tell my children as they were growing up, "If you do not tell me I can not help you, no mattter what it is. Please let it out, you get so worried and upset. I can tell something is wrong. You keep pushing your will to work it out on your own, but the answer just does not come. Please tell me and let me help you."
Sometimes it is just the hearing your issue or problem, out loud, outside of you, is what brings an answer instantly. It is a release, freeing the energy is just what was needed.
A cousin was in a relationship with a young man who was suicidal, the load was breaking her back, and she finally confessed to me, she was going to break up with him. She also worried, what would everyone think of her. They were both popular kids in their highschool, and everyone wanted to be just like my cousin and her boyfriend, "How lucky you two are to be so in love and have cars and be handsome and beautiful and each other." Not knowing the real torment that ensued them daily.
I was so worried about her during the course of this relationship. We wrote letters and kept in touch with each other every week, she lived almost two hours away from me. Her hand writing and letters that used to be so beautiful, were barely ledgible now. Her letters were scrabbled, fragmented sentences now, of nothing but trauma he brought to them both every day over his torment inside and outside himself.
She was a different person after confessing her secret torment. Her hand writing started to come back, it made a difference in her life already, even though she had not broken up entiely with him just yet. To admit that a suicidal teen romance was too big a cross to carry, and to no longer let what others think of her be so "all consuming" to her life, brought healing to her young soul.
Life is a mystery and you do not always need to stand all alone. I tell a story of my own confession of a family secret and the relief it brought myself and my children. Because we thought that all along we were alone and no one else could possible be going through the struggles of living with an addicted family member like we were.
Celebrities confess to the public and to their fans about experiences in their own lives and speak of the healing process and being able to "unblock" their lives and move on.
Confessing is like having your own sounding board, someone to talk to, someone that does not take sides or judges you for what you are saying, it is a compassionate move on your behalf : respect and caring for yourself, and on the person who puts themself up for hearing you, being for you mindfully in that moment.
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