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Concert ettiquette, or: Stop annoying everyone at gigs right now.


Here are some handy tips that can protect you from eye-daggers in the back of your head, spit on your clothes, and fists in your face.  It seems like at least a few people at any given show are so interpersonally clueless that they can't figure these out for themselves...especially the terrible people at the MSTRKRFT gig in El Paso.


  • Don't push your way to the front.  We know you want a better spot to see the show. Everyone does.  When you force your way through the crowd, it means that you're going to have to stop somewhere, which means you're going to have to stop in front of someone, which is going to annoy them.  There are two amendments to this rule:

  •    +You are dancing, there is a mass of people who are all dancing in front of you, but there's a thin row of people standing with their arms crossed.  You're digging it more.  You get the right-of-way.  Standing behind people that don't dance kills the vibe.

  •    +You were up front, you had to leave but your friends are still up there.  No one wants to be separated from their friends for the whole show, but don't just push your way, look for an opening and at least look apologetic.

  • This goes double for tall/fat people, so if you qualify, get a spot early.

  • Unless it's Halloween, don't wear a big stupid hat.  It makes it way harder to see.

  • Cut out the hardcore PDA, after a few minutes it gets really old.  You deserve to be sprayed with water.

  • Quit the perpetual texting.

  • In other phone stuff, keep your cell-phone photography in check.  You already know what its going to look like anyway...a blurry, pixelated figure or two in a horrible sea of whatever colored lights they're using at the venue.

  • Support your own weight, don't just lean on the strangers nearest to you, drunky.

  • Don't do the two-fingered whistle thing directly into anyone's ears.

  • Guys, don't take off your shirt when you start sweating...this goes double if you're muscular or overweight.
  • Unless you're at a hip-hop club, do not freak with another person.  Especially during indie-rock shows Modest Mouse!

  • If you MUST get freaky with one another, do it where you have enough room, (preferably in a dark corner somewhere or in front of traffic) don't just rub up against everyone around you too.


You get the idea.  Post any other rules you can think of as comments and maybe they'll get added to the list.


  

Comments

  • su madre 4 years ago

    haha, good stuff! i notice you didn't say it was bad for girls to de-shirt..... :-P

  • the lawn gnome. 4 years ago

    RUDE. I happen 2 LIIIIIKE wearing hats 2 concerts N making out N freakin wit peeps threw the entire thang!!!!! IIIIII happen to know U are tall, you hippocrit. :D

    p.s if I eva see U ima ffreak wit YOUUUU!!!!

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