People are no longer remaining in relationships that meet only their basic needs. To whom and how much you want to commit are personal choices depending on your personality, emotional maturity, and lifestyle or thinking process. Commitment means to make something strong and healthy. In a relationship it should be mutually acceptable to both individuals at a level both people can honor and fulfill.
Commitment asymmetry
Scott Stanley co-director of the Center for Marital Family Studies at the University of Denver found that “often couples who live together report that their cohabiting just happened.” It’s not uncommon for the couple to “slide” into marriage instead of “decide” to marry. Stanley’s research reports that there is a difference in commitment level between two people in a cohabiting relationship as two-thirds of the time women are the “decider” and men are the “slider”. Had the couple been living apart sliders would have ended the partnership before marriage. Stanley states this is one reason that couples who live together before marriage or engagement are statistically less likely to be happy in marriage than those who didn’t cohabit ahead of time.
Keep a realistic perspective
There is no right or wrong way to commit to an individual as long as you are honest with the person about who you are and what you want from the relationship. The rest is decided by the two of you and what fits your lifestyle and personalities. Commitment grows from a progressive love and respect between two people sharing their lives but retaining their individuality. This can be a healthy and rewarding experience.
A couple should discuss their loyalty to one another and be honest about personal expectations for the future. This could involve your career goals, financial planning and any desire to have children. Being dishonest on these topics would be viewed as a blatant betrayal of an individual’s feelings and desires. Without trust there is no relationship.
It takes two people in alignment of the facts and belief that they are committed to the future together. Being there for each other during the different stages of life…..emotionally and physically should be a mutual evolvement while building commitment. The relationship strengthens while you support each other’s goals and dreams. It is important to keep your perspective realistic ….not idealistic with how your relationship evolves.
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