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Coming Apart Mentally 2 – Effective fatherhood via equipoise and consistency

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December 15, 2013 - Equipoise is a fancy word for balance. Equipoise is the posture of wholeness, peace or shalom. Fathers are called to set the tone and value of peace at home for his family. With all that is going on in this hyper-busy information age, how does a father apprehend peaceful stability and turn over custody to his children so they know they are valued?

Compartmentalization works with balance and accountable relationships. Dad keep first things first. Keep a manageable schedule that fervently expresses – I love my family and share it with someone trustworthy. Flying inconsistently by the seat of our pants leads to poor navigation, poor fuel consumption and an inevitable crash where the most valuable people get burned.

The greatest quality of your time should be spent on the relationships and purposes most important no matter the quantity. Effective fatherhood is efficient fatherhood. Efficacy is the manifestation of quality prioritized. Hierarchy is key.

Many people do not realize but when a computer multitasking, they are actually doing one thing at a time - really, really fast, literally in nanoseconds. It does not compute things simultaneously...it quickly prioritizes and executes. It facilitates its most important tasks first. How do we as dads do this?

The NY Fatherhood Examiner spoke with Minister Onorio Chaparro, affectionately called Brother Minister, the director of both Christian Cultural Center’s Maturity Division and the men’s ministry, known as The International Christian Brotherhood, to hear wisdom regarding a dad keeping his children as a priority no matter how busy they get.

NY Fatherhood Examiner: Brother Minister, how can dads make it clear that their child is their priority?

Minister Onorio Chaparro: “Fathers are always modelling their values to their children. The question is are we modelling to our children that they are the most important people in our lives aside from GOD and their wives? Are we consistent in utilizing our time to let them know they are priceless?

"There is no one practical thing to communicate a child’s value from their father outside of consistency. One-time events can only do so for a moment. Value is communicated by consistency with intentionality.

"There is a difference between being present and being involved. It is one thing to have a new iPad and ignoring the world to use it. It is an entirely different thing to play games with your children on it. It takes humility for dad to even come to the place where he realizes he needs to be more consistent where his children are concerned."

There is more to come...

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