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Comic books becoming big boy movies still


Cook, displaying his unweb-slinging hand gestures

The Emerald Flashlight started shooting in New Orleans yesterday. Simultaneously, the production also announced the casting of two actors from New Zealand, which as far as I can tell means they're short hairy people from those wizard and sword movies. Frequent Flight of the Conchords collaborator Taika Waititi will play the BFF of Van Wilder, while the love interest from Barb Wire will play the chump predecessor to Hal Jordan whose only role in the comic mythos is to die.

With the release of Kick-Ass a mere month away, the filmmakers finally decided to release some posters. A trio of them, in fact, being depicted in an arbitrarily retro style. The next round of promotional materials should make the stars of the film look like that shaggy-haired, mustachey beret guy from all those Hot Topic shirts.

Weird-looking, skeletal Captain America nemesis Red Skull will soon have a weird-looking skeletal human to play him in the forthcoming Joe Johnston adaptation of our most patriotic comic book hero. (Besides U.S. Agent.) Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is reported to be in negotiations to play one of comicdom's most imaginatively named nazi villains, while a whole cavalcade of youngsters are still up for Cap himself. Cute Office Guy appears to be out of the running but, as of today, the pouty-faced former Mr. Witherspoon, a cro-magnon-faced former stripper, and an acne scar-faced current douche are all up for the title role in The First Avenger: Captain America. And here I though the casting director from Steel surely couldn't still be working today.

Seriously, Dane Cook as Captain America? Even as a mere rumor, that very idea is a special kind of infectious evil that shouldn't be trifled with. Should that gestating rumor reach maturation to truth, expect a number of fanboys "pulling a Sparklehorse."

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