Amazing Spider-Man 611 by Marvel Comics, 2009
I have no idea what to say about this comic.
I think I can still hear the resounding cries all over the civilian world about the character Deadpool after seeing the Wolverine movie earlier this year and finding out he's not nearly as cool as the movie depicted him. Then again, comic movies never follow the books. In it, Deadpool becomes a very cool villain with a sad and distorted origin, endearing him all the more to the non-comic book fan. He says nothing (due to his mouth being graphed closed) but it doesn't matter because he had very deadly weaponry at his disposal and gave both Sabertooth and Wolvie a run for their respective monies. What's not to like? In the movie he was legitimately awesome!
Too bad he's about as cool as H1N1 in the comic books world.
There is no more annoying character in the Marvel universe than Deadpool. Hell, he even makes Venom and Carnage look good! What could be a very cool and complex character is nothing but a buffoon who makes low-rent stabs at jokes and basically ruins each and every book he appears in on any given month, and lately he's all over the damn place! This month he ruined Spider-Man so badly that for the first time in my Spidey-loving life I put a book down three pages into it and refused to read it for fear my IQ might actually drop a few points. Why Marvel? What are you thinking by consistently bringing this drivel into the comic stores?
Granted, it's not only the character that ruined this book for me; the art should be given equal credit for that as well. If you've followed my articles before you know that while I love my books and am grateful for the art form to still be kicking after some 70+ years this recent Manga craze does nothing but befuddle and infuriate me. Yes, it's a matter of taste; yes, it's a matter of, once again, appealing to the supposed demographic of what the kids are digging these days. I've said it once, I'll say it again - kids are NOT buying these books, Marvel Comics! The demographic you should be aiming for is a median age of about 34, and Manga is far from loved by that huge comic-buying contingency known as "old coots!" We're the ones keeping you in business, Marvel Comics, so you had better begin paying attention to us a little more than just trolling some forums to see what the "buzz" is around the cyberworld. Half of the people on these forums do NOT buy comics, do NOT support the hobby and are therefore rendered useless because they offer no opinion with any merit since they do not actually read and support the books! Sorry kiddies, but reading Previews and Marvel Previews does not a comic fan make! We're out here, Marvel...come talk to us sometime!
Please, just look at the photo below of this month's Spidey "art" and tell me that Mr. Kirby or Mr. Wood aren't turning in their respective resting spots. I'm sorry, but when "art" like this appears in books I purposely leave them on the shelves because I simply find it annoying and downright insipid. Spider-Man should not have pointed elbows, heads and knees - it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous and not even close to cutting-edge or innovative. Sadly enough, I have a full run of Spider-Man books and he is my favorite character, so I'm handcuffed to keep my collection solid by allowing said trash into my precious comic collection. If there is a desire for this art, that's fine and well! Leave it out of the superhero books, plain and simple. It has its own place with Astro Boy and this Dragonball-Z, so let it stay there and reap whatever benefits it reaps. That's not unreasonable.
Amazing Spider-Man 611 art courtesy of Marvel Comics, 2009
I had a feeling this issue would be a throw-away issue with the Gauntlet storyline coming in Spidey's book next week, which appears to be a good set of stories including the Rhino and Electro coming back for some much-needed fun. I've read some horrible comics in my day, but this was so mentally-numbing that I simply had to close it. This will literally be the first Amazing Spider-Man issue I will never read. I do not understand the concept of making a book so silly and ridiculous that it is flat-out unreadable, and that's what this issue of Spider-Man was for me this week - utterly unreadable! Deadpool's jargon is not funny, not illuminating, and not even coherent enough to warrant inclusion in Spider-Man's vast catalog (and this is a catalog that features the horrid "Brand New Day" and "Sins Past" storylines.) Of course then Spider-Man's dialogue becomes equally ridiculous and inane, hence a terrible book is burped out like a bad night of frozen pizza. It's like these Deadpool writers sit around in a closet and say, "Hey, I've got another great idea for Deadpool this week...wait'll you see the inane shenanigans he gets into this time that will get another $3.99 from these loyal Marvelites! Let's just keep getting stupider with every week! No one will even notice! It'll be a hoot!" Marvel does like to insult its readers on occasion.
And yes, I do happen to have a sense of humor...for things that are funny.
For me, this issue was banality at its worst, not even close to artistic and downright stupid. Marvel has hit some low points over its storied career, but if this is what Disney will keep in line with its grand take-over scheme for the coming months I'll leave my hat at the door on my way out. I'll simply resign myself to the fact that the characters I once loved and felt were really cared for by good, competent creative teams are now in the hands of the inmates that have taken over the low-rent asylum. Then again, I've seen this coming for a few years now. What an obituary it's making for itself.
Where have you gone, Mr. Ditko? A genre turns its lonely eyes to you....