Comedy Examiner review: 'Predators' is big, dumb, brainless -- and surprisingly awesome

   You won't be disappointed in the least by Nimrod Antal's Predators.

You're wondering whether or not you should check out Nimrod Antal's Predators this weekend, and the Comedy Examiner's got the answer: Hell yes. After 23 years without a decent sequel to John McTiernan's 1987 action/sci-fi classic, Robert Rodriguez has teamed up with Antal to bring us not just the best Predator film since the original, but also one of the most balls-out fun times you're likely to have in a theater so far this summer. Be forewarned that the following review contains spoilers if you're interested in going, and if you don't want to be spoiled, just be aware that your $10 will be spent wisely if you see Predators this weekend. Read on for the full review, my gentle Examiner readers ...

The thing about Predators is, the film's going to benefit from over two decades' worth of bad sequels. I can't imagine anyone heading into a showing of this weekend's Predators with their hopes held high, but having just seen a showing of the film, I'm here to tell you all: Predators is one helluva fun movie, a worthy successor to the original (which it shows just the right amount of respect to in a few homages sprinkled across the flick's 105 min. runtime), and much better than you're expecting it to be. There's no Chris Hansen cameo, but maybe they're saving that for Predatorses.

The film starts with Adrien Brody being dropped out of (presumably) some sort of aircraft over the jungle. He's plummeting towards Earth -- which is precisely where many people would most like to see Adrien Brody -- and his chute opens at the last possible second. Smash-cut to the title screen, and the movie's off and running. It barely stops to catch its breath for the rest of the run-time, but the flick's low enough on exposition (more on that in a moment) and visually entertaining enough that the downtime isn't missed: Predators is unapologetically madcap and vicious, and you're probably going to appreciate that after the absurdity that was Alien vs. Predator: Requiem.

The plotline's already been given away in the trailers -- pretty much completely -- but in case you've been in a sweet, deep coma for the past six months, here's the gist: A group of the world's most dangerous killers have been dropped into the middle of the jungle. Adrien Brody's the de facto leader of the group, which includes Danny "Not Just a Pretty Face" Trejo, Walton "I'll Always Be 'Shane From The Shield' to You" Goggins, and some guy that looks suspiciously like Joe Don Baker and Tom Berenger's lovechild. They've been dumped in a "gaming preserve" by a trio of angry Predators, and they spend the movie being hunted. Who will survive, and what will be left of them? You're not going to be surprised by the outcome, but even though you've seen every variation possible on this story already, you'll still be entertained.

Antal -- who also directed Kontrol and Armored, but we'll forgive him that last one in light of Predators' greatness -- handles moment after moment that could've ended up being incredibly cheesy in unexpected and interesting ways. You've all seen the "Predator Dogs" in the trailer, but there's another creature that shows up about half an hour into the movie. Rather than beat us over the head with money shot after money shot of this creature, Antal leaves it vague -- as well as the creature's purpose and origin -- which makes all the difference. I'm intrigued: What the hell was that thing? Was it working for the Predators? Why did it look exactly like Estelle Getty? These are questions I'm hoping Predatorses doesn't answer, because I enjoy the vague approach.

The whole movie's like that, actually. It's wall-to-wall scenes that we've seen a hundred times before, featuring characters that aren't all that more developed than their basic stereotypes (you know those African warlords -- such a pain to travel across an alien planet with), and the ending's obvious ten minutes into the movie. But again, Antal presents all of this with panache: The planet looks interesting, the creatures look like Predators should -- a complaint we all had about those Alien vs. Predator monstrosities -- the kills are all satisfying, and Adrien Brody gets beaten up a lot. Really, what more could you want from a Predator movie?

While you won't be getting much in the way of "new stuff," there's a slew of homages to the original film that might make revisiting that version worth it before seeing this new one. The song that plays over the end credits? Perfect. The mirrored sequences of Billy fighting the Predator in the original, versus the Yakuza fighting the Predator -- with a samurai sword, no less -- in this one? Awesome. The scene where a character basically recounts the events of the first film, but makes a point not to mention anything that happened during Predator 2? Loved it. Really, I was entertained from beginning to end on this one. The script's barely there, but I barely noticed.

The film doesn't stick its own landing, but I'm willing to forgive it considering the 100 minutes' worth of awesomeness that preceded it. Predators isn't a comedy by any stretch of the imagination, but if I know my readers, this is exactly what most of you could use right now to cure a case of the blues caused by a summer's worth of crap tentpole movies. Antal and Rodriguez have delivered -- and then some. My grade? A-, with points off for a protracted, obvious ending.  But, really, don't let that stop you.

Stay tuned for more shenanigans from the Comedy Examiner's Office in the near future, including funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, recaps, prequels, waffles, and more. Hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox (free of charge, of course), and if the article above wasn't enough for you, check out some of these other recent Comedy Examiner articles:

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(photos: top--allmovieposters.com, next--slashfilm.com, bottom two--collider.com)