“How about Edward Cocaine?”
“What?” uttered a stunned Judge Hurley.
The 34 year old former Home Depot worker was arrested by the Pembroke Pines Police Department and charged with Possession of Alprazolam. Commonly known as Xanax, the drug is used to treat anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and anxiety caused by depression.
Cocaine was allegedly in simple possession of the drug without a prescription.
“My last name is Cocaine,” proudly stated the man at the jail podium. Verified through Florida driver license records, Cocaine was indeed his name.
“You know, I'd thought I'd seen it all,” Hurley laughed, shaking his head.
“How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?”
“Just about every time I get pulled over,” a clearly amused Cocaine admitted.
Arrested on Tuesday, Cocaine explained to the court how he got his name.
“My great-grandparents came over here from Greece and they changed it,” stated Cocaine. “That was like in the 1920’s.”
Judge Hurley remained ever professional. “I'm still trying to absorb this,” he said.
After a review of the probable cause affidavit and Cocaine’s lack of prior arrest record, Hurley released the strangely named defendant on his own recognizance to pre-trial services.
With only a history of minor traffic infractions, Cocaine is set to appear before Broward County Circuit Judge Lynn Rosenthal in early May.
In jest, Cocaine’s attorney – an unidentified assistant public defender – stated following the hearing, “No Cocaine, Cocaine,” amid additional laughter from courtroom personnel and inmates.
Bill Lewis is principal of William E. Lewis Jr. & Associates, a solutions based professional consulting firm specializing in the discriminating individual, business or governmental entity.