Transitions in life are never easy no matter how fully anticipated they are. Some are long awaited rites of passage and others arrive suddenly and unexpectedly at our doors bringing with them unacceptable news. And yet we must, somehow, face the inescapable facts of our journey and make steps to move forward. Accepting what is instead of lingering on what might have been- what should have been- is very hard work; the hardest work that life will ask of you. We often find ourselves full of regret over what we could have done, but didn't or couldn't or decided not to. It is this mind game of cat and mouse, of 'woulda, coulda shoulda' that can drive us in maddening circles.
It's all about letting go which is easier said than done. The idea of it can almost sound romantic- letting your thoughts, worries & cares float away as if they were clouds in a sky drifting off into the distance; watching them change shape as they go, turning to mere wisps and dissipating. While imagery is a wonderful tool to assist you with the process of letting go and reaching acceptance it is anything but romantic. It's painful and often tears your heart up into pieces! The only avenue to reaching peace is by going through the pain and allowing God to pick you up, wrap His arms around you and stay with you as you rearrange the chambers of your heart and mind; acclimating to the shift that has taken place.
Walking your path with others who love and support you can ease the sorrow and making a dedicated effort to allow the letting go to take place will gradually bring relief and acceptance. There is no guarantee of how long this will take, no magic formula. Take time to write or draw about it in your journal, talk about it in a support group or with a trusted friend, read suggestions from others who have been through something similar, take long walks, and most of all convene with God; the only one who can truly understand the intricacies of your unique situation.