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Citizens of NYC, un-chap your lips!

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Isn't this fun, guys? New York in the doldrums of winter, I mean? Coming in from that bitter, unforgiving cold to an arid, radiator-scorched apartment, feeling like a blimp in your seven-layer-bean-dip hodgepodge of an outfit, fighting off that 24-hour bug everyone seems to have- it's a swingin', sexy time!

As if you weren't feeling wildly attractive enough already, your lips have also probably started peeling off your face due to the aforementioned lack of moisture in the air. The good news is that you can get them nice and soft again in a single night!

Here's what you'll want to do:

1. Take a steamy shower, during which you'll want to belt "Let It Go" from Frozen and use a lip scrub. Sara Happ's is the best (and it comes in a variety of delicious flavors) but if you don't feel like dropping $24 for a jar, you can also make your own using items that you either already have in your kitchen right now or can easily procure if you can convince yourself to leave the house in this weather.

2. Once you're out of the shower, thoroughly wipe your lips with a clean, dry towel and apply a moisturizing lip balm. DO NOT USE CHAPSTICK*. I can't stress this enough. It will dry out your lips. Instead, try By Terry's Baume de Rose (which will actually change your lips' life) or Smith's Minted Rose Lip Balm (as if you aren't already obsessed with it). Really layer it on, because you're going to sleep in it.

3. Wake up to healthy, pillowy lips that will act as literal magnets to the lips of all potential suitors.

It's that simple!

In addition, make sure you stay hydrated (make some tea if the water in your building is too arctic for a human being to reasonably drink), and avoid dark lipstick! It make your lips appear thinner and be unforgiving when it comes to outlining any cracks, so stick with a balm or gloss instead!

Good luck, and godspeed- we've only got like two more months of this! Damn it.

*Yes, people my age, even if your lips hurt real bad.

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