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Christmas Tidings 2013

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Another year has just about come and gone, and it’s time for what is now my 4th annual version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. This column adds a political spin to the classic Christmas poem. I enjoy the challenge of writing it and hope you enjoy reading it! So, without further adieu, here is ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas 2013:

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the White House
Not a creature was stirring, not even an angry First Spouse;
With Barack’s Mandela Memorial selfie still stuck in her craw,
Michelle’s chill still had yet to thaw!

With the nation snuggled all in their beds,
Obama and his cronies are plotting in their heads;
No matter what they do, they get a media pass,
IRS scandal, Benghazi, even Obamacare alas,
The prez claims ignorance no matter what occurs,
“I just learned of it myself,” he murmurs!

The Obamacare website crashes upon its rollout,
Barack promises you can keep your health care, your doctor, no doubt.
“If you like your health plan, you can keep your health plan. Period,” he said,
With Politificact calling it the lie of the year, Obama began losing his street cred.
As Obama’s standing in the polls begins to sink,
The tingle-down-his-leg fan Chris Matthews seeks more to drink.

In Illinois, the finances go deeper and deeper in debt,
But electoral change in 2014 is not a sure bet.
Quinn, Madigan and Cullerton get their pension deal,
But is it just a spin of the BS wheel?

Now Dillard! Now Rutherford! Now Brady and Rauner!
The Republican winner hopes to make Quinn a goner!
High taxes, out-of-control debt, fleeing businesses is Illinois’ plight,
Will Chicago someday follow Detroit’s economic blight?

Unemployment high, few jobs to get might make the voter pause,
But Democrats know you get votes by being Santa Claus;
More food stamps, gay marriage, entitlements they provide,
Because there is nothing better than a good political bribe!

Obama warns Syria not to cross his red line,
But then chickens out, hardly a good sign.
Iran gets a presidential phone call and a brand new deal,
To which our allies scream, “Are you for real?”

Putin, China flex their muscles,
Knowing Obama wants no tussles.
Our foreign policy is in a freefall disaster,
Wasn’t this Nobel Peace Prize winner suppose to be a global master?

A guy named Snowden leaks spying details,
It’s then off to Russia for asylum, he trails.
World leaders and you are under the NSA watch,
Heavens, they even have their eye on the Jack Links Sasquatch!

The Christmas controversy gets revved up again,
By a pretty Fox News anchor named Megyn.
She says Santa is white to liberal revisionist’s jeer,
Santa can be anything you want, they sneer!
Nothing is safe about Christmas anymore,
The PC secularists are such a colossal bore!

A show about the walking dead hits ratings highs,
It’s midseason finale rates millions of “oh my’s!”
Alec Baldwin has another melt down,
When will we ever be done with this clown?

So, here we are at the end of another year,
To which Cubs fans shed another baseball tear.
The Sox laid an egg, the Bears on the playoff cusp,
But we all celebrated with another Hawks Stanley Cup!
The weather is cold, the snow getting deep,
Makes one want to make that warm climate leap!
It’s time to end with some seasonal cheer:
Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year!

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