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Christmas social mingling anxiety...redefining trust.

From the desk of...
From the desk of...
photo courtesy of sheilasultani

The cornerstone of any relationship is said to be trust.  What is trust?  Is that a patronizing question?  Or an unexpected one.  We all know what trust is, right?  Well, I am sometimes not sure at all...

Part of growing with a relationship includes redefining expectations and is something most of us come to accept to build our lives.  But simple words like "Love", "Good", "Bad" and "TRUST"...can stump us.

It seems a black and white question.  Yes, you do trust.  No, you don't.  Or, the jury's still out!  And often applied to the matter of fidelity.  Fair to say we develop trust from familiarity (an innate feeling of trust), past behavior and demonstrated consideration.

Trust as defined by Webster's Dictionary includes synonyms "confidence", "hope" and "believe".  These words point us in a constructive direction.

Trusting is an action.  Are you confident that your partner would, in most circumstances, avoid inflicting unnecessary pain?  Do you hope that your experiences together have created a structure too valuable to carelessly tear down?  Do you believe that the act of trust is really for yourself and not an evaluation of your partner's moral vulnerability?

Some would argue that trust needs to be earned.  I do not disagree, but pose another idea to add; that you never lose when YOU choose to trust, just as you choose to love.  Trusting the entirety of a person is a gift you really give to yourself.

Would you be surprised if that makes you an attractive partner?  Don't be.  Remembering what you can control is what life guarantees.  And makes you a person with developing conflict confidence, better able to move ahead through any events that you cannot control (many!  You've gotta love life!)

But we're not looking to build a palace from lousy materials, either.  If some of the basic elements that could enable you to trust are not present, be confident and preserve it for a better gamble.  It's your trust to act on, after all.  Don't let a bad situation deceive you.  "Trust" is yours forever.  It belongs to you!

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