In what has become my annual tradition, I give you my take on our favorite carols, with a little NASCAR twist...
Grandma Got Run Over By A Racecar
(Original song by Randy Brooks)
Grandma got run over by a racecar
Walking down the pit road on raceday.
You can say she was a fan of Kasey,
That’s what Grandpa, and me we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much Lite beer,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
And stumbled out the RV lookin’ for Kahne.
When they found her raceday mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were tire prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' autographs on her back.
Grandma got run over by a racecar
Walking down the pit road on raceday.
You can say she was a fan of Kasey,
That’s what me and Grandpa,we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa, He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' Bristol,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's just not raceday without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in red.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we cheer for Kasey or send him to the back?
Grandma got run over by a racecar
Walking down the pit road on raceday.
You can say she was a fan of Kasey,
That’s what Grandpa, and me we believe.
Now Talladega drops the
green flag
And Kasey’s in the lead.
Pursued by a blue and silver
Chevy,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a pit pass,
To a Grandma who roots for Kasey and raises Kahne.
Grandma got run over by a racecar
Walking down the pit road on raceday.
You can say she was a fan of Kasey,
That’s what Grandpa, and me we believe.
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O Come, All Ye Faithful
O come, all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bris-tol Saturday night;
Come and behold it,
If you can find a ticket;
O come and let’s go racing,
O come and let’s go racing,
O Come and let’s go racing, at Bristol.
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Silver Bells
(Original song by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans)
Racetrack pit stalls, busy pit stalls
Lugnuts flying around.
In the air
There's a feeling of raceday.
Crewmen laughing
Drivers passing
Racing mile after mile
And at ev'ry track corner you'll hear,
Silver bells, silver bells
It's raceday time at Daytona.
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing.
Soon it will be our Raceday.
Strings of racecars
As they’re drafting
Flash by bright red and green
As the fans shout
At the top of their lungs…
See the cars touch.
As the packs bunch.
The whole crowd holds its breath.
And above all the rumble
You'll hear,
Silver bells, silver bells
It's raceday time at Daytona.
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing.
Soon it will be our Raceday.
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Oh Sprint Cup
(In the style of: “Oh Christmas Tree”)
Oh Spr-int Cup, Oh Spr-int Cup
How lovely is that trophy!
Oh Spr-int Cup, Oh Spr-int Cup
How lovely is that trophy!
We fight for you all season long!
And pray that nothing goes too wrong!
Oh Spr-int Cup, Oh Spr-int Cup
How lovely is that trophy!
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"The Christmas song"
Lug nuts roasting on an open fire....
Jack Roush nipping at your nose....
Miller Lite Beer being drunk by the crew…
And tires lined up all in a row
Everybody knows, Daytona will soon be here,
The green flag's not so far away
The cars sitting still, will soon be a roar
As the drivers wait so anxiously…
They know the seasons on its way
It’ll be here before you know it any day...
And every crew chief here waits to spy
To see if Junior really knows how to fly!
And so we’re offering this simple phrase
To fans from one to ninety-two
And though it is said many times many ways...
Happy racing to you
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"Jingle Bells"
Dashing off turn four
Heading for my stall
Four tires and some wedge
And I might take it all (hee hee hee)
But as I roared out from pit road
And got back in the show
The flagman pointed right at me
I’d got a stop and go…
(Ooh!) I got caught speeding down
The pit road during the race
Got black flagged
And lost a lap
And ended in last place!
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"Hark the Herald Angels Sing"
Hark! The NASCAR official sings
Your car don’t fit the template again,
Your rear fender is much too wide
We must have this reconciled…
You must go to the end of the line
‘Cause if you don’t you’ll pay a fine.
Hark! The NASCAR official sings
Go get a hammer ...and fix this thing!
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"The Jimmie Johnson Theme song!"
(In the style of: “I saw momma kissing Santa Claus”)
I saw Jimmie kissin’ a fifth Sprint Cup
Underneath the mistletoe last night
He didn’t see us creep
Into his hauler and take a peek
He sat there grinnin’ wide from ear to very ear
Then I saw him huggin' the Sprint Cup
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Comments
Uh....Greg, don't give up your day job!
I thought they were pretty good, especially Silver Bells and Jingle Bells! Merry Christmas!
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