New Jersey's Republican governor, Chris Christie, has not only become an Internet sensation sweeping the nation not only due to his major ownership of Liberal reporters, his winning remarks toward a lying school teacher but for his announcement that the "day of reckoning" has come as well.
A lot of people in Conservative, Tea Party and libertarian camps that don't have the pleasure of living in the Garden State and instead have to deal with governors like Schwarzenegger, Rendell and Paterson wish they could have a no-nonsense governor who is seemingly punching everyone's punk card on a daily basis. Chris Christie came to New Jersey to kick Union tail and chew bubble gum: and he's all out of bubble gum.
With that said, declarations of Christie's gubernatorial prowess flood this writer's Twitter account multiple times within a day. Even Glenn Beck has a segment of his radio show devoted to "Christie Porn" - that is, Glenn reports Internet blogging and glowing and gushing over Christie's actions.
Therefore, it is time for the Internet to replace its elongated and overplayed penchant for Chuck Norris Facts. It is now time to replace those Bunyan-esque Tall Tales with the new gospel of Chris Christie.
Ladies and gentlemen, with apologies to the millions of inventors of Chuck Norris Facts in which some of these are borrowed, here is the sixth installment of interesting things you may or may not have known about Governor Chris Christie:
- Godzilla is a Japanese take on Chris Christie's first visit to Tokyo.
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chris Christie.
- Chris Christie will never win a Nobel Prize because they do not have a "Balls of Steel" category.
- AFSCME now stands for All Fearful Since Christie Made Election
- Chris Christie's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- Chris Christie can win a game of chess in one move.
- Chris Christie can judge a book by its cover.
- Chris Christie is, in fact, reinventing the wheel.
- Chris Christie's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Jimmy Hoffa.
- Did I ever tell you about the time Chris Christie took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, the Governor takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Christie yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
- AP
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