One of the best pieces of advice for newly married couples is simply this: choose your battles. No matter how perfect your relationship is, there are going to be difficult times in your marriage. There are going to be disagreements, conflicts, disappointments, and stressful times. Many of these are unavoidable. Others, however, are only as powerful as you make them.
Every conflict or disappointment does not have to turn into World War III. Sometimes the best decision you can make is to just let it go. When you are in the middle of a conflict (even a small one) this can seem like a very difficult thing to do. If, on the other hand, you can train yourself to take a deep breath and ask yourself a very important question, you will find it isn’t so difficult after all. Ask yourself this question: Is this conflict more important than my relationship with my spouse? You will be amazed at how many times the answer will be a simple NO.
Lauren and Mike had been married for a year when they found themselves arguing a lot over the tiniest things. They argued over what color living room furniture to put in their house, what kind of paper towels to buy, and what type of lettuce to buy when grocery shopping. These arguments would often turn into tear-filled scenes in which the couple refused to talk to each other, or even sleep in the same bed together.
One day Lauren’s mother asked the couple, “What is more important? Paper towels or your love for each other?” The couple immediately answered that their love was more important. “Well, quit treating it like it is the least important,” said Lauren’s mom.
“Your moments together are precious and few. Don’t waste them on foolish arguing. Learn how to choose your battles.”
Great advice for any married couple.