Are senior citizens too old for love? At what age should dreams of romance and affection be abandoned? This question is one of many directed at adult children who discourage their single parents and grandparents from dating.
For those who’ve never encountered an adult who actually protests against a mature relative dating, the very idea of someone doing so may sound ludicrous. Yet, this is the battle that some seniors face when they fall in love late in life-- or even if they just want to date! Reasons for this vary, but the truth is that there’s no good one for trying to prevent someone’s happiness. One can simply peruse the profiles and forums at www.SeniorMatch.com to learn that aging adults are ready and willing to share love, so why not let them?
One of the most common reasons that adult children discourage an aging relative against dating is the fear that their loved one will be hurt. It’s true that the threat of a broken heart at any age can be scary. While wanting to protect someone we love is a valiant effort, seniors are actually hurt when they want to date, but are told that they’re too old and should sit on the sidelines of life, instead. They are even more hurt when they fall for someone only to have well-intentioned family and friends interfere and try to break a relationship up.
Another reason why adult children sometimes stand in the way of seniors falling in love is a fear of losing an inheritance to or control over assets like a home, life savings and other investments. This can be especially daunting if a deceased parent contributed to the acquiring of such assets. While it is commendable to want to protect an aging adult from the possibilities of financial ruin, abuse or loss, in general, there are other more practical ways to go about it. Seeking estate planning advice from a professional is a far better option than trying to break up someone’s happy relationship.
Mourning a Loved One
Children who’ve recently lost a parent are probably the least likely to encourage or support a surviving parent in dating someone else. This is completely understandable. Yet, it is important to allow every member of the family to grieve and live at their own pace after the death of a loved one. The surviving spouse is the only one with the ultimate say-so as to when she or he is ready to open their heart to someone new after becoming widowed. It is nice to consider the feelings of others, but it is not necessary to live according to anyone else’s timetable nor should any adult child expect to control an aging parent’s social life if they are healthy enough to still do so on their own.
A Message For Those Standing In the Way
If you are the adult child of a parent or a grandparent who is ready to begin dating or who has recently fallen in love with someone new, your primary concern should be your loved one’s happiness and not your own feelings about how their life should be lived at that age. Trying to prevent someone from falling in love causes pain, breeds resentment and can even lead to depression among the elderly. As long as the senior in your life is in control of her or his faculties, trust that they are able to discern what is right for them and allow them-- or even encourage them-- to join a site like www.SeniorMatch.com and to socialize freely in order to find companionship while you move yourself out of the way.