Children Shouldn't Choose Parents Happiness

Approximately eight years ago I found myself butting heads against my siblings who were not looking out for the happiness of their parents, they were looking out for the future thickness of their own wallets. This happens in more families, and tears many apart. I am a true believer that elders need to enjoy life to the fullest until they can't any longer. My reason in sharing this with you all is that my father became ill with COPD and was in and out of hospitals, then spent his last two years of life in a nursing home. My mother was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and passed on only five months after my father. My sister did not show up at my fathers funeral which devastated my mother, but we all knew it was about money and the fact she had made a trip to visit just once and demanded to sell the home mom was in when dad was fighting for his life. I was shocked, mom was terrified not knowing if her husband would be alive the next minute. Shall I add, my sister works at Kaiser in Northern California, and has a doctorites degree. You would think there would be some compassion, but none. As for my brother, and many others in families, there is the sibling that follows, he followed my sister and did as she told. He denied to mom on her death bed that the two of them were communicating, then one day accidently said they were and when he realised his lie leaked out, he turned as white as the wall he stood in front of. I took care of mom for six weeks until she passed. I was never allowed to verbally speak to my sister to notify her, she would not answer any phone, so I had to leave the message on a recorder. My brother answered only to say..."I feel so sorry for you Amy"...then hung up. To this day I have not heard from him. Not too nice of a thank you as I once got calls from him after his wife kicked him out and he was living in a seedy part of town, I picked him up, got him cleaned up, only to have him walk out on me. Mom and dad always had a hand written will untill dad passed on, and then mom went to an attourney and had one drawn up. She protected me in the will, as she removed my sister as the Executor and removed her from the will which very much suprised me. She then appointed me Executor of the will and put stipulations in the will. One being, if anyone was to ask questions about the will I could remove them. This meant my brother. Of course you can only guess who called, my sister, which was the last time I spoke to her. My brother did call me one time telling me we should give my sister some money. I informed him if it were moms wishes, my sister would not have been removed. What is so sad about this family of mine, is that to sum it up as I speak of us children, I was the unwanted one. Mom sought out an abortion only to find out she might die so she had me. She had a rough life with me, an unborn child that eleven years later was diagnosed with epilepsy and she became a great advocate getting me the best care. What I can remember so vividly, is my mother saying to me as I left her to rest as she was passing away, "If I had an abortion, I would have nothing". I could never walk out on my parents, even knowing I was not wanted. I have two siblings that were wanted that walked out, I think it is discusting and don't understand how people can sleep at night. Dad was a hard working man in charge of drafters at a large corporation. When in need he was always there. When our parents become elderly, it is not our business to tell them how to spend their money to be happy, or to tell them not to do anything so it is in an account in a will. In the long run, it will just cause an unhappy family prior to people passing on. Their is time for unhappiness after they pass, but also try to remember the good times you had with them. That would make your parents happy.

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, Burlington Elder Care Examiner

Amy Kemp is happily married and has a seventeen year old son. A former Engineering Drafter holding an Associates of Art Degree in Electronic Drafting, Amy now finds being an Advocate for Eldercare and Health Care a much more rewarding. Amy has contacted her elected officials at both local and...

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