As parents, guidelines and having rules and consequences for children are a must. However, it seems to have become the norm to only get involved when the children are in trouble or acting out. Children thrive on attention. If they are only getting negative attention, they will continue to do the behavior that guarantees attention.
Parents need to realize that positive attention and praise go a long way in the self esteem and the continuing good behavior of the children. Being there only when they do the wrong thing and talking to them only when they are in trouble only encourages the bad behavior.
Letting your children know you love them, showing them love and support and being a good role model for them increases their chances of imitating that behavior and wanting your praise and love even more. If they are only shown negative reinforcement, this increases the chances that they will continue to misbehavior just to get your attention.
As parents, your need to correct bad behavior, to let your children know when they have done something wrong and to have consequences for bad behavior. At the same time it is so important to see the good things they do, whether it is good grades, a kind act, helping out or a great quality you see int them and praise them for that. Children's egos are so fragile, so easily hurt and so eager for positive comments that anything said in a loving way or a hug or a boost to their sensitive ego is magnified.The negative comments and the hurtful words are a huge blow and so hard to get over.
Look at your child(ren) and see them for who they are. Push them to be the best they can be and let them know the potential you see in them. Do not degrade your children or make them feel they are worthless. Simply let them know when they have done something wrong or are not doing the best they can do and then let them know you are there to support them and help them get to where they should be.
Children need their parents. They need love, hugs, constructive comments and support. They need guidelines, rules and parents being parents. Take the time to acknowledge the good things they do or say. Take the time to say I love you for who you are even if you are not happy with an action or something they have done. Let them know you are there for them in any situation. Look for the good in them and not just the bad. Praise them daily, love them unconditionally and hold them close to your heart.
