Children across the nation are suffering from a troubling, growing, and silent epidemic—child abuse. This examiner can speak first-hand to the horrors that are taking place across our nation and our world. I am a survivor of 11 years of incestual molestation at the hand of a distant family member. It is important for people to know that abuse can present itself in numerous different ways—no two cases are identical. A child could be emotionally, physically, sexually abused, or some combination of the three. Here in Waco, Texas we have great organizations like Arrow Child and Family Ministries, The Advocacy Center at 2323 Columbus Avenue, and the Crimes against Children department of the Waco PD to help deal with our local cases.
According to http://www.childhelp.org:
- A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds.
- Almost five children die every day as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4.
- It is estimated that between 60-85% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.
- 90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members.
- Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
- 31% percent of women in prison in the United States were abused as children.
- Over 60% of people in drug rehabilitation centers report being abused or neglected as a child.
- About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
- About 80% of 21 year old that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
- The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2007 is $104 billion.
There are great individuals trying to change this for children world-wide and help to make this epidemic no longer a silent one. One such individual, Velvet Martin from Toronto, Ontario, is making great strides in childhood abuse advocacy. Velvet agreed to share some of her experiences and insights with and about child abuse.
Q. What is your experience with child abuse?
A. I know the pain and suffering of loss of life of my little girl. Samantha Martin died on December 3, 2006 at the age of 13; incidentally, my daughter should be celebrating her 18th birthday on Saturday, June 4th [2011]. I am deeply saddened and angry that instances of death of our most vulnerable in society continue to plague society. Furthermore, upset, that current legislation breeds further deaths! Publication Bansare for the living, not the deceased. These infringe upon human rights and are unethical. The premise behind a Publication Banis to protect the interests of the child and surviving family; however, children require promotion of rights in life, in death, these are well-protected by God. Surviving family should have the option of disclosing their identity or not. It is my opinion that the only individuals who benefit by opaque legislation are those who have committed wrongs. Transparent examination of factual data is the sole mode to learn what led to collapse culminating in harm of a child and how to best prevent future calamity. I find it illogical that victims are further repressed – silenced – while those who cause the harm are protected under the guise of promoting protection of the child. Thankfully, the Court regarded the truth of this position agreeably and I am able to disclose both my daughter and family name.
This is our story told in brief – What happened to Samantha Martin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXTwTq9U97Q The following are examples of the media reports related to Samantha: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/story/2011/01/18/edmonton-samantha-martin-fatality.html and http://www.stalbertgazette.com/article/20110212/SAG0801/302129978
Q. What actions have you personally taken to make others aware of and help prevent child abuse?
A. Stemming from our circumstances, I have become more vocal in raising awareness of the injustices that are consuming the lives of solid families; with particular advocacy for the rights of children with disabilities. I was able to have an amendment to legislation in Alberta, Canadaenacted which differentiates families accessing government services for medical and therapeutic need from those individuals requiring services under the Child Intervention Model. This is an endeavor that I will continue to seek change across Canadaand beyond. I have been contacted by politicians in both the USA and UK who have asked my support in drafting legislation in their locale. When such occurrences transpire, it does my heart well to know that Samantha’s story is reaching others around the globe – particularly – as I know that the issues are not restricted to one location, but plague families across the globe. No loving familyof a child with disability should be coerced into relinquishing custody or an out of home placement in order to gain access to government funding for required medical resources.
SAMANTHA’S LAW: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samantha%27s_Law
Since coming forward with my own story, I am inundated by instances shared with me, of families in crisis facing diverse oppression. Themes span coast to coast and are universal in nature. Family-Centred Care Practice is a premise near and dear to my heart. There is a mindset that automatically presumes that children under direction of Ministry have been removed from their natural family for sinister reasons, however, that is a falsehood which I would like to clarify. A number of settings contribute to need beyond abusive situations. Nativity is problematic within professional humanities as well: Caseworkers, over-burdened and dealing with true cases of intervention are assigned to loving familiesdealing with issues of disability, poverty, single-parenting, diverse cultures and religions. It is my daughter's legacy to educate that not all families receiving government assistance have a negative past. Based upon statistical data from Alberta Association for Community Living (AACL) who conducted a Study from child welfare files, "70% of the approximately 12,000 children in care had special needs." There is no comparison, yet circumstances fall under the same umbrella and professionals can forget their role is to treat people with respect and compassion. Alienation affects mothers, fathers and the child, but siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and God-parents need also be considered. There remain some who are sceptical, "Hmmm, surely you must have done (that illusive, insidious) 'something' to warrant intervention?" Due to ignorance, situations of inequity plague good individuals and allow archaic, unconstitutional treatment to continue to exist.
My family too, unknowingly would become a statistic when suddenly faced with news that left us devastated and broken: Upon birth of our much-wanted, beloved little girl in 1993, we were informed that she would likely never walk, talk, see, nor even know that we were her family. Our daughter was born with a rare genetic condition from which no other individual in the Province was known to exist; even to this day. The hospital benignly sought assistance for our grieving family through social services. However, instead of offering support and direction, we were informed that "as the natural family", the government would not offer help to our child whose anticipated medical and therapeutic needs were extensive. We were directed, instead to surrender guardianship to an out of home medical foster placement. Thus, began our strife as we entered into an Agreement with ministry in effort to offer our daughter medical care. We maintained relations with our child and because of the unique circumstances of out of home care in the absence of poor parenting, were able to regain custody. However, suspending the out of home arrangement which we felt was not in our child's interest, was a very difficult process that took years of advocacy to achieve. We would learn that we were "1 of 4 families in the Province" who existed under a "PGA" (Permanent Guardianship Agreement).
While busy researching to teach skills to our child, it was she who taught me my niche in the world: I have been involved in Family-Centred Care Practice within a Canadian Hospital for a number of years and work in the community with children who have a variety of medical and developmental challenges. Families of children with disabilitiesacross Canada are still instructed to relinquish guardianship in order to access help despite legislation. Indifference towards basic human rights continues to transpire amongst older youth and adults too: Families of individuals with severe behavioural difficulties are directed to incarcerate their loved one in effort to get immediate attention! http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/09/03/shedding-light-on-autism-crisis/
Let me assure, I am not opposed to foster placements; I have positive relations with families who care for children with love and devotion. It is not a matter of singling out a single type of problematic family constellation, but instead, maintaining focus on children where oversight exists. Where ministry employees fail to perform the function to protect a child, there must be consequences. Tolerating harm of a child through caseworker and foster placement neglect is unconscionable; there cannot be duality between paid representatives of the government and the remainder of society.
While statistically more cost-effective to support natural homes, efforts to do so are not embraced. The basic solution is to honor natural, adoptive and kinship homes with equal access to support. It is interesting and wildly sad that inequities need be pointed out: While our daughter purportedly could not be supported in home due to the costs of medical services, Child & Youth Services later approached my family to provide care to 2 little children with disabilities. Quality care is spare so we opened our home and hearts until reunification with family could occur. Our experiences have truly been learning opportunities which enable me to identify deficits in the system, but more important, how to avert tragic circumstances in the future. While the Public is assured that stringent protocol is in effect to protect children in care, the truth is that this is a fallacy; workers are consumed with caseloads and do not have time to follow protocol. Home inspection, for instance, is not performed and for those with less than an honest vested interest in a child, opportunity for wrong-doing is rampant.
Q. In your opinion what are the signs to look for in a child you suspect to be abused?
A. We teach our children that if something feels amiss, to tell a trusted individual, and to keep speaking until someone in authority listens. As adults, sometimes we dismiss our own internal flags because we do not want to believe that our fellow neighbors could possibly harm a child. However, we have been given instincts for good reason; if something feels wrong, it likely is. Please, trust those internal alarms and take action to avert danger. Keep speaking even if it is not politically correct to challenge present legislation because sometimes, laws have not kept pace with circumstances in society and it takes a great deal of dedication to see that politicians learn from errors in order to move forward.
Q. What resources do you recommend for an abused child (books, groups, therapy styles etc…)?
A. Although we are more accustomed to inclusion of persons with diverse medical and developmental diversity, protection of basic human rights of individuals is largely lagging behind or completely absent. There are some solid venues for addressing challenges that may afflict a family – the Office of the Child Advocate, for instance – operates on the basis of impartially examining the best interests of the child. However, the flaw that remains is the lack of independence apart from government. In turn, authority is absent and so good intentions are largely lost in bureaucracy.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., so wise, once stated:
“You know my friends, there comes a time when people get tired of being trampled by the iron feet of oppression ... If we are wrong, the Supreme Courtof this nation is wrong. If we are wrong, the Constitution of the United States is wrong. And if we are wrong, God Almighty is wrong. If we are wrong, Jesus of Nazarethwas merely a utopian dreamer that never came down to Earth. If we are wrong, justice is a lie, love has no meaning. And we are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until justice runs down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
A parent should never know the death of one’s child. While the world moves on, a family remains trapped in limbo; particularly where lack of platform for judicial process occurs. It is my heartfelt hope that sharing our story will serve as a lesson to avert tragedy in the lives of others.
What a moving testimony to the importance of parental rights education, and special needs child care requirements. The children of the world need responsible, educated and motivated individuals like Velvet Martin, Elizabeth Brawley, Julie Federico and Anita Wladichuk and the countless others like them. Women such as these are banding together across the world with great determination and strength to help and speak up for all the hurting and victimized children.
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