Technology has opened new avenues for cheaters. Texting, sexting, email, and status updates on cell phones are all quiet ways for players to dabble in other darlings while you are grabbing your coat or paying the tab. So, what to do, if someone keeps using their touch screen when they should be touching you?
Your first instinct, after the urge to pummel the cheater beside you, may be to inform the recipient(s) of those messages that they, too, are being played. But this is one life scenario where you should definitely blame the messenger. The behavior of the sender is the part of the equation that personally affects you, and your reaction to his/her wandering ways is the only element that's within your control. (Remember the "within your control" part, when the schmuck is "within arm's reach".)
When someone cannot focus on you long enough to leave behind texting and status updates during a date, that person's attention span is childlike. And, like a child, their desire to have their cake and eat it, too, parlays into cheating habits. Adult decisions, choices, or commitments may be avoided when grown-up gadgets provide a new type of playground, and a silent mode for the player. Recess, however, cannot indefinitely remain one's favorite class period, and cheaters eventually find they are unwanted on any team.
Who really wants a reputation as a (1) cheater, (2) liar, or (3) loser in bed? (That last term is the default, for all eternity, whether true or not.) Most people who fall into the first two categories think they won't get caught, or they just don't consider the long-standing ramifications of the six-degrees-of-separation principle. Someone is always going to know someone else, or tell someone else, or inquire about someone down the line, and realize that person is not to be trusted or engaged in any sort of in-depth relationship. This can ruin business affairs, not just affair-affairs. See also: what goes around comes around, the Theory of Relativity, the Golden Rule, most country music lyrics, and karma.
If it's true that a leopard won't change its spots, then most singles know that choices must be made with a cheater. Do you forgive once + forget never, do you run for the border, or do you realize that broken trust with one partner does not signify that all people are slime: therefore, live and learn, then go forth a stronger singular, and find a respectable mate?
Moving on is supposed to be about learning a lesson and becoming a better individual. But liars move on, too, and tell others that you, or circumstances caused by you (see also: drama, expectations, toenail clippings...) were to blame for a breakup. It's part of their necessary cover story, to stay in denial and to seem wounded as they approach unsuspecting others. If all cheaters were wounded, instead, with a tattoo of a snake on their forehead, that would be a valuable status update for us all. Until then, you may not see them coming, but you'll know them going out the door.
A single thought: "double" dating
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