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CHAPTER ONE: Is the Modern Woman what a Man wants?

Men can date extremely attractive women that respond positively to their masculine energy, but those same relationships never progress to full commitment, marriage. What was missing from those relationships? In many cases, those great women lack traditional women character traits,yet they want traditional men in their lives.

What do modern men want out of romance?
Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Men find traditional women very attractive not because they want women to feel inferior. In fact, modern men want to be with a woman that can equally hold her own weight in the relationship. When men commit to a more traditional woman, it’s not because the traditional woman is better than the modern woman. The man’s final decision on commitment is all about him and his needs. It could be simple as him wanting a wife in his hometown rather than marrying a woman that wants to still take trips around the world. Or it could be that all the career oriented women are too busy to juggle their careers, travel and entertaining other interests to fulfill a man’s need for a good wife.

To put it simple, men marry the women that align with their ultimate life goals. Luckily for us ambitious women, there’s room for compromise.

You can be a wonderful wife and mother, while still being that smart, sexy, strong, independent and successful woman. Those traits do not make a woman masculine. They make a woman empowered. You can be ambitious as long as you’re generous, loving and loyal to your man.

You can show him what you truly bring to the table by achieving your goals, handling your business and working hard to be the best you.

So why are you not finding the kind of love you’re looking for? You may want a more traditional man or modern man, but you may not be that more traditional woman or modern woman as you thought yourself to be. By not knowing where you stand on the spectrum, you may be blocking yourself from finding real love. You want to be a woman, but you also want to be a priority.

Women and men that place self-imposed restrictions on how their lives should be, remain single. At this point you’re probably frustrated as hell, but you shouldn’t be because you only have two options o find fulfilling love. Here are your two options:

You can implement less restrictions on your perfect man rather than convince men that have no interest in dating or committing to women exactly like themselves ( career goals, self-imposed restrictions etc).
Compromise to avoid remaining single forever.

I understand that it’s human to want what you envision your life soulmate to be, but reality will always fall short of perfection. I could throw facts at you all day,but hard facts will never change your feelings on the matter. I urge you to expand your options when it comes to dating by taking the best of traditional roles and blending it with your modern woman traits. By making some compromises, you can find a good man that wants a wife and some kids. You can find a man that wants to take the lead but never make you feel inferior by being the leading partner.

Find your center and you will find your self-empowerment. By centering what you want in a life partner, your husband… you will stop dating men that will always put work first, that are chasing down younger women or simply men that have no interest in settling down.

When you live your life according to hypocrisy restricts, you set yourself up for disappointment. How can you expect a man to practice chivalry when you find even the littlest hints of the traditional woman traits, as inferior? You’re expecting too much from a relationship you’re not willing to make compromises to maintain a healthy relationship. You have to be honest with yourself about how a real relationship will fit with not only your present lifestyle, but the lifestyle you want for the future with your life partner.

* To keep up with upcoming chapters of Modern Woman's Journey To Courtly Love Attainment by Briana Booker, Like the Facebook page for the book. Stay tuned to Fromgirltogirl for great discussion on Modern Relationships. *