Celebrity deaths highlight the importance of grief management

Photo: Bobbi Dombrowski

It’s next to impossible not to think about the nature of mortality with all of the media coverage that recent celebrity deaths have received—the Michael Jackson memorial service is today; Steve McNair was found murdered over the weekend; and other beloved celebrities like Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, and Ed McMahon have also passed. In addition to legions of fans, they have each left behind loved ones who will need to find a way to cope with their grief and eventually resume their normal lives—including the lives they lead in the workplace.

I learned firsthand how difficult it can be to handle career responsibilities while coping with a loved one’s passing. Around this time last year, my grandmother was hospitalized for an affliction that would later take her life. When it became clear how dire the situation had become, a pattern developed that would dictate how much I could accomplish for the next several months—my productivity became directly correlated with my grandmother’s prognosis. On the days that her condition appeared to improve, my energy level and output increased. But as her health steadily declined, any concentration and interest in the work I usually love began to flatline. As the summer turned into fall, my grandmother’s illness claimed her life and with it, any hope that I could sit at my desk and concentrate on anything other than crying.

In a sense, however, I was lucky. Unlike many people trying to work through this kind of loss, I am self-employed. I could work in my pajamas, take breaks for a good cry, and receive frequent calls during the day about my grandmother’s progress with little consequence to my work. But for those working in an organization, dealing with the death of a loved one can be much more difficult.

The good news is there are a lot of ways to get through your grief and back on the road to work productivity. In “Dealing with Death and Grief in the Workplace,” Kirsti A. Dyer outlines ways to handle the responsibilities of your job while coping with the death of a loved one. Some of the strategies that Dyer suggests include:

Understanding and accepting your feelings. There is no blueprint on how to handle grief, so you should do what feels right for you. If you feel like you need to take all of your bereavement time off from work, that’s fine. If you think that working and keeping busy will help you get through it, that’s fine too. The important thing is to be realistic. Expect that it will take time for you to heal and know that special occasions without your loved one will be painful for a while.

Allowing others to help you. Although you should recognize that some people don’t feel comfortable with the complicated feelings associated with loss, there will be others at work who are more than willing to give you the support that you need. Let them. Share your feelings with those who are willing to lend an ear.

Talking to your supervisor about your concerns. If you need extra time off from work, a more flexible schedule or an adjustment to your workload after losing a loved one, be sure to communicate these needs to your boss.

Part Two: How to help a colleague cope with the loss of a loved one

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