Become a (me) expert
Oftentimes people speculate as to why they do not have what they want in life whether it is a career, friendships, relationship, or marriage. Those who do have these things sometimes still feel unfulfilled. The primary reason for this is because most of us fail to take the time to do any serious introspective thinking in order to figure out what it is we truly want, need, or desire before we begin our pursuit of such things. When it comes to relationships and mate selection many of us have been told what traits we should desire, how love looks and feels, and what constitutes a “deal breaker”. The reality is only you know what feels good to you or feels right for you. It’s important to figure out your own wants in life.
Life is a personal journey
You are responsible for your own happiness. Each of us gets to choose our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Our lives are for the most part the end result of the choices and decisions we have made along the way. If you are unhappy with your choices you can learn to make better ones. When we change our circumstances change. When we blame others for our circumstances we give away our power. The only person you can actually control is you. Fortunately that is more than enough once one learns to make their choices and decisions from a place of complete awareness.
Happiness comes from being true to oneself. For example instead of trying to change your mate you are better off seeking someone who already is the kind of person you want to be with. Change comes from within. Very few people are looking to meet someone for the purpose of having them change who they are. The vast majority of people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are. Generally speaking any attempt to change someone leads to frustration on our part and resentment on the part of our mate. If either person needs to change their core being in order to make the relationship work then it is a clear sign there was a mistake made in the mate selection process!
There is no right or wrong. There is only agree and disagree. The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship as you, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
Thoughts & feelings
What people think about themselves or how they feel about themselves affects their outlook on life. As a dating coach I often come across people who literary hate the dating process. As you can imagine having that mindset going in will present a lot of challenges. Negativity rarely if ever leads to positive results in any undertaking.
Your subconscious mind will never allow you to succeed at anything you despise.
As we approach the close of yet another year it’s natural to reflect upon where we are and where we want to be in all areas of our life. Fall is generally looked at as a time for gathering or reaping the rewards from all the effort we put in during the course of the year. It can also be a time for planning changes. Sometimes we need an outside stimulus to infuse or renew our spirits in order to forge ahead.
If you are fortunate enough to live in the Chicago area one worthwhile upcoming event is “Celebrating You". This event is sponsored by The Suburban Woman Newspaper and will be taking place on November 7th from noon to 8PM at The Stonegate 2401 W. Higgins Road Hoffman Estates, IL.
There will something to address just about every area of one’s life including speakers on various topics from self-empowerment/motivation, health & beauty, finances, and last but not least your favorite Chicago Dating Examiner will be on hand to share “The Recipe for Relationship Happiness”. In addition there will be wine tasting, food from local restaurants, health screenings, and over eighty plus vendors all for a $5 admission.
Whether you are able to attend this event or not it is important to nurture and get in tune with yourself. The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world! It’s your life. Take the wheel!
Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself