Some members of the Coconut Grove Business Improvement District want to re-title the village to give it a cache’ and attract more business.
And the new brand? ‘The Nearby Republic of Coconut Grove.’
How this will play out is yet to be seen, but the natives are restless. Let’s assume the position of a med-fly on the wall and listen in on the possible discussion.
“I’d like to call this meeting to order. First order of business is to craft our response to the movement by the majority of Floridians who want to legalize medical marijuana. When the smoke clears, we’ll take a vote. Someone open up a window, I’m not thinking straight.”
“Look, we have to call our village something else. The acoustic acts are gone, the local artists have been priced out and ‘quaint’ just doesn’t sell these days. We need a ‘hook’.”
“Let’s think about what Key West did with ‘Conch Republic’.
“Don’t they already call our city hall the ‘Banana Republic? What if we call ourselves the ‘Banana Republic of Coconut Grove?”
“We’d be sued by the clothing chain and besides, the politicians think it’s a slam on their good name.”
“We’re close by the bay and some shopping. What about ‘Close by Coconut Grove?”
“We want ‘outside’ money to come in, so why not appeal to drivers with ‘Steer by Coconut Grove’?”
“How about ‘Drive By’? Whoops, never mind”
‘The way we drive around here, it could be ‘Veer By’.”
“Businesses are losing customers, what about ‘Please Buy’?”
“Just tryin’ to get by’ Coconut Grove?”
“Those won’t work. How does ‘Close by Coconut Grove’ sound?”
“Wait a minute, we’re trying to sell a historic piece of Americana here, so why not ‘Bye bye miss American Pie Republic?”
“The term ‘nearby’ is catchy. It makes people think it’s not far away.”
“That’s never going to fly. Might as well be ‘Almost, but not quite’ Coconut Grove.”
“I’ve got it! We’re by Coconut Grove”
“No, that sounds like the start of a proclamation”
“Or what about appealing to non-smokers with ‘Close but no cigar Grove’
Coconut Grove is pretty and it’s close. What about “Pretty close’ to Coconut Grove?”
“I think we’re getting ‘close’ to the real issue here. Will someone please open that window?”
And that, ‘More or less’ might just be Coconut Grove!