Chicago occasionally has snow. Chicago certainly has golf courses. Abominable snowmen certainly do exist. Can the Abominable Snowman play golf in Chicago?
Abominable snowmen are poorly constructed snowmen that are detestable, disagreeable or unpleasant. Snowmen wearing raggedy, stovepipe hats; tattered, plaid sweaters; and buckle shoes are unpleasant to view. These powdery water figures become more abominable if they begin to move with their own volition.
An Abominable Snowman and/or Abominable Snowmen (note the capitalizations) are yetis and perhaps, Sasquatch. Sasquatch is more likely to exist in the United States, including Chicago, than are yetis likely to exist. (Sasquatch supposedly inhabits the northwestern United States and western Canada, but yetis supposedly inhabit snowy, high altitude regions of the Himalayas.)
If sufficient snow cover is upon the ground, these cryptids may appear as if by magic or very advanced science. These beings walk more upright than gorillas, so they can probably take golf stances. However, no scientific proven statements of their intelligence and physique exist since no one has captured any. Therefore, they may lack the ability to observe the Rules of Golf and properly swing golf clubs.
Several, Chicago-land golf courses have local rules concerning playing golf balls when the balls land in flower beds. Abominable Snowmen with reputations of being wild would likely eat the flowers instead of playing golf balls from the flower beds. Of course, flower beds only appear in late spring, summer and autumn when snowfall is lacking, but Snowmen may refer to their appearance—fur like snow instead of their environment.
All Chicago-land golf courses require that golfers wear shoes. Since Abominable Snowmen live and travel barefoot, any golf course personnel who attempt to force a docile Abominable Snowman is likely to be disappointed. (The smallest Bigfoot probably has 15 inch feet.)
Abominable Snowmen are creatures that crytozoologists study. These creatures are in the same category as Champ, chupacabras, the Enfield Horror, the Gloucester Sea Serpent, the Jersey Devil, Mokele-Mbembe and Ogopogo. If Abominable Snowmen roam forest preserves, they are likely to be more interested in fresh, deer meat and squirrels than in playing golf.
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