This may amount to a grain of sand on a huge beach, but I have a confession to make. For those of you who have been following me avidly, I make no secret that I am a huge fan of Glee. On the first top ten list I published, I ranked it number 1, ahead of Mad Men and The Good Wife. I've liked other shows; I worshipped Glee, I've defended it through a middling Season 3, I've defended it as a comedy show for the Emmys, I'm still writing an epic fanfiction about it. Which is why it pains me to say this, but--- I haven't watched an episode since the premiere of Season 4. I've got recordings of every episode, but I haven't been able to summon up the energy to watch it. And for the life of me, I can't think of a good reason. Part of the reason is because it's got a conflicted time slot (its been up against Parks and Recreation and Person of Interest) , but I haven't been able to summon the wherewithal to begin watching the tapes.
I like to consider that I am what the networks hope for in a TV watcher; when I start following a series, unless there is a major drop in quality, I follow it for life--- which, as anyone in TV can tell you, often isn't a big commitment. But I like to think that I have the makeup of the Constant Viewer, and that only a major conflict can force me to give up a series. When Grey's Anatomy moved to Thursday at 9, I was rabidly following both Scrubs and CSI, all of which aired at the same time. Since there was no such thing as DVR at the time, I abandoned CSI, which I had been growing weary of. When Scrubs switched networks and time slots two years later, even though CSI was still well received, I felt no need to go back. But when Fringe and 30 Rock held the time slot, I moved in favor of those shows instead, another decision I have not regretted.
But sometimes my decisions can be harder for even me to follow. I had followed CSI: Miami for five seasons when Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 premiered against. Unilaterally, I decided to follow Sorkin's show. We all remember how that turned out. But even though it burned out quickly, I felt no urge to follow the show afterwards for its remaining four seasons. I was more enthused with Without a Trace, but when it moved to Sunday at 9, I give up on it. Then again, Sundays have always been a tough night for me.. For years, I watched Desperate Housewives with my mother, even though Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, and Treme ran against in. I was actually relieved when we gave up a watching about a year and a half before it ended, and had no problem when The Good Wife took it's place. While I've sometimes wondered how the final season played out ---- and how and why Mike Delfino died--- I've never felt a great urge to resolve my doubts.
But I'd followed Glee through four different time slots over as many seasons, and even when the show wasn't perfect--- it always sang to me in a way that so many other shows have not. Admittedly, I'm not the only one--- there was an article online just this morning saying that even though Glee was airing its 500th musical number tonight, "does anyone still care?" I thought I did, but I guess I'm one of the many turned off. Maybe I just didn't like the idea of seeing couples that I'd grown fond of over the past two years breakup, maybe I'm not wild about following a new crop of students, or maybe I was delusion by the lousiness of musical based shows like Smash (which is now going through it's second season of demonstrating that the title is the biggest misnomer ever). I don't like the possibility that I may be as fickle and uncaring as everyone else who casually watches TV. It's not in my job description.
Then again, the seasons on the second half. Maybe I'll do what I've done in summer's past and spending it catching up on the old episodes. Maybe syndication, which will come when this season concludes, will renew my enthusiasm for it. Because I don't like quitting on shows midstream, and this is, after all, a series about the underdog. Whatever the case, I "won't stop believing." (All Gleeks will get that reference