It’s every man’s unspoken fantasy to have both a lady on his arm; a woman he can present to the world with unabashed pride; and have that same lady turn on a dime into a dirty girl in his bedroom, one who pulls out all the stops along with some freaky sex toys. As the saying goes, “A lady on his arm, but a whore in the bedroom.” Some women are not fazed by the phrasing, while others become quite offended. The question is how many women can live up to the challenge of balancing this universal duality of the female spirit? Why must she be one or the other, and not both?
Society is geared towards demanding ladylike mannerisms, however, it pushes sex in every form of media, and then frowns upon women actually buying into their own sexuality and owning it! Those that do own it are judged whores without any redemptive value. (The ‘whore’ mythology)
This is unacceptable!
Women must redefine the term ‘whore’ from its derogatory genesis into a celebration of sexuality, sexual expression, and love. After all, the lady who was on his arm just an hour before is still the same loving woman that man so proudly displayed like a hard-won treasure to every dog in his pack. Why should he not get to plunder that treasure with vigor? Why should she be discouraged from taking charge and doing a little ‘plundering’ of her own? And who wants a cold trophy that can only be admired upon the shelf when a man can have a sexy siren wrapped around him, warming his cockles? No man is going to say no to warmed cockles!
Being a skilled lover does not a 'whore' make. Reveling in the giving and receiving of hot caresses doesn’t diminish a woman’s worth, if anything, it increases it. Enjoying the scent of sex, the taste of skin, and the feel of fiery friction with the one she loves is not a crime and is therefore not punishable by Scarlet Letter-style shame.
Women need to stop seeking permission to be sexual creatures and accept that they are sexual creatures. It’s in the nature of all humans, male and female alike, to both instigate and respond to sexuality, not just for procreation, but for sheer enjoyment and physical expression of emotions. Why else would it feel so good?
And before someone starts quoting the good book, citing scripture about ‘no sex before marriage’, let me re-direct those same people back to that book and ask that they read it again. (What does the Bible really say about sex?) This time, pay close attention to all the pre and post marital nookie going on between not only husband and wife, but husband and concubine (the biblical word for mistress), husband and slave, slave on slave, concubine on concubine; why there is an orgy going on every other page! With the exception of Sodom and Gomorrah, which were destroyed according to the Bible and the Torah not because of impenitent sex, but because of the cruelty and lack of hospitality to strangers (visiting angels), there is a whole lot of ‘getting down’ in scripture; none of which was subject to a good old-fashioned smiting by God. Seen any random, city-destroying thunderbolts lately?
So if God doesn’t condemn it, why do we?
By religious thinking, God is the master architect who designed our bodies. He did a great job, (Kudos, big guy!) yet women hide their bodies, are ashamed of their sexuality, and are hesitant to put aside their inhibitions and appreciate the gift given them in being what every man desires.
Let’s face it, women have had a tough time being judged harshly ever since Eve pursued knowledge and ate the apple. (Witcombe - "The argument that the order of creation, in which Adam was created first and Eve second, indicates hierarchy and therefore Adam's superiority ignores the fact that animals were created before Adam.") A real sore loser that she beat him to it is Adam, forever blaming Eve for his fall from Grace; never once taking responsibility for his own actions. Since then, Adam, and all his male descendents (and a few female relatives under the heavy influence of brainwashing) have done everything they can to pigeonhole women into two categories; the good girl, and the whore. The ultimate joke is that these same sons of Adam, who marry the good girl for the sake of appearances and societal acceptance, often seek out the ‘bad’ girl in dark alleys, back rooms, and now, the internet. They won’t admit that not only do they want both, but that women are, and should never be ashamed of being both! Heck, it isn’t God who punished Eve and her line, but man. It’s still going on today.
Women were made to love, to nurture, to comfort, to stoke the embers of lust into a bonfire of hot, sweaty sex (the great equalizer between men and women), to bring life into the world, and to protect those they love with a warrior’s fierceness found in every female species on earth. Who ever said women couldn’t also abandon themselves to their bodies; take command of their men; and seek ecstasy as their reward for giving so much? How did such a generous creature get branded a whore? How did the very sexuality inherent to both males and females suddenly become a bad thing when expressed with candor by women?
To deny a woman's right to own her sexuality is to spit on the greatest creation in the universe; not to mention a poke in the eye of the master architect, himself!
It goes without saying that women can, indeed, be both a lady and a dirty girl at appropriate moments, but the latter in only the best possible sense of the word; that of an unapologetic sexual being.
Ask any man, and while he may hesitate briefly, he will surely agree.
Women's Gender and Sexuality Studies at University of Texas, San Antonio
Women's Gender and Sexuality Studies at Trinity University, San Antonio
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M. Gwynn has authored two books, Harvest and The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer on Amazon.com .
All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be re-posted whole without written consent by the author. Partial re-posting with a link back to the original article is permitted. For consent, questions, or comments, email megwynn@msn.com.
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