In the ‘Everything is material for a humorist’ category, I received this information from LinkedIn re: a job opening in the new ‘Al Jazeera English’ flagship station.
In their words, ‘Al Jazeera is the most exciting 24 hour English language news channel in the world’. All you have to do is tune in, duck and cover! http://english.aljazeera.net
I think I’ll apply.
“Good morning Mr. Fleischman, and welcome to the Al Jazeera Network. Have a seat facing Mecca and we’ll begin. Fleischman: is that a Jewish name?”
Me: “Not if you add an extra ‘N’.”
“Touché Mr. Fleischman. Your résumé says you’re a comedy writer. How is that of any value to us? We’re a news organization.
Me: “None really, unless you want to put a humorous spin on the latest goings on in the Middle East or the streets of New York.”
A J: “That’s fine, but Washington is already doing that for us and every other news channel. As long as you don’t dis Allah, we should be OK.”
Me: “Since the Qatari government bought the channel from the liberal ‘Current TV’ will they retain the Eliot Spitzer and Joy Behar shows?”
A J: “Not unless you think ‘it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God’. And when I say ‘rich man’ I’m referring, of course, to the endless wealth of the Al Jazeera owners, the Qatari Royal Family.
They bought the channel as a vehicle for their grandchildren to learn programming during the maid’s day off. Get it? That’s a joke Mr. Fleischman; the maid’s don’t get a day off! See, we can be funny too.”
The grandkids are already developing some shows. ‘There will be no girls, of course, so ‘Hamid Montana’ is on the schedule as well as ‘Open Sesame Street’ with ‘Omar the grouch’.”
Me: “Well, all I want to be is the weatherman. It should be pretty easy. I’ve already got a catch phrase. Since I’m bald, I’ll say You get it fast, because I feel it first.”
A J: “Sorry Mr. Fleischman, we don’t need a weatherman to tell which way the desert wind blows.”
Me: “So I don’t get the job?”
A J: “No I think you’re too ‘creative’ for us”
**Al Jazeera English is an equal opportunity employer because America has laws**