The famous Mom Who Drinks and Swears has finally written a book, and in her own words she states, “The book has a lot of bad words and demented crap. Totally buy it.”
Nicole Knepper swears like a sailor, and people love her for it. Her twitter handle is @queenofcussin, and her popular Chicago Tribune blog Moms Who Drink and Swear has posts with such delicate titles as “Depression – Sh*&t Everyone Should Know”, or “The F*&%ed up and Fabulous Fun of Family Traditions.”, as well as the less-then subtle “Caillou Sucks So Bad, Here’s Another Blog About Why I Hate Him”. She yells, she laughs, she tells it like it is. For years, she has entertained her fans with tales of carpet stains, pets gone wild, personal fashion disasters, and children who go through life oblivious to spilled glitter and empty toilet paper rolls.
But wait – before you roll your eyes and write Knepper off as just another crass Sarah Silvermanesque comedian with offspring, realize that Knepper is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the fields of substance abuse, trauma, dual diagnosis, and autism spectrum disorders, and that she is also the mom to two special needs kids. Her Facebook page has over 246,000 Likes, and no matter how potty-mouthed or aggravated this mom gets in her newsfeed, she never loses her sense of humor or her love for her children.
With Facebook statuses such as September 2011’s FINE DON'T WEAR A COAT, this mom really knows how to react to all the stuff that kids really do. "FINE DON’T WEAR A COAT. i really don't care. don't give me a long winded explanation in response to my suggestion. be cold. have a nice day. i love you. WHAT? why are you back? you are cold? you can't find your coat? you need to accept the fact that i'm always right and understand that if you miss the bus because you failed to recognize this important fact (yet again), then i will not take your suggestions to wear a bra and act "normal" when your buddies are here."
And another one from August 2012 - "I requested some mother/daughter time and the girl said, "I'm just not feeling you right now, but thanks for asking." She has now spent the last 20 minutes making goldfish crackers talk to each other and laughing her head off. She is obviously "feeling" the goldfish crackers. I would take it personally if the crackers weren't x-treme cheese, because who can compete with that?"
And an oldie but a goodie from October 2012 - "But I diiiiiiiiiiiiid clean my room. This IS clean, Mom." Claims the future hoarder. She's either delusional or just thinks I'm a dumb ass. Either way, she'd grounded until this s**t's picked up."
Did I mention the hilarious pictures, too? You can always count on Knepper to cover her wall with some seriously funny s**t.
In her continuing attempt to take over the world, Knepper has written a book based on her popular blog and Facebook page. The book, titled Moms Who Drink and Swear – True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind has an April 2, 2013 release date via the publisher, NAL Trade.
April also happens to be National Autism Awareness Month, a subject that is dear to Knepper's heart as one of her children have been diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum.
According to the summary on Amazon “…this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
Buy this paperback or download it onto your e-reader, grab a glass of wine, and be prepared to laugh your butt off. It’s not every day you get to meet a mom who trash talks beloved Nickelodeon characters or who refers to her children as ‘the spawn’. Between all that snarkiness, this is really just a heart-warming tale about a hungover woman who loves her stinky children no matter how many times they miss the bus.