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One of my coaching clients informed me his in-laws just moved in to live with them while the dad is recuperating from heart surgery.

I asked how he was coping and his cryptic response was “I spend a way more lot of time at work. It’s called survival!

That is what many of us do. However, what about if you are in a family business? That is where you get the triple whammy –family at home, family at work, family all around, all the time.

This is for all of us with a special emphasis on family business, which is the largest part of the business arena worldwide.

Here is the skinny on what happens when conflict rears its ugly head; and I promise you it will over and over and over and… well, you get the point.

When stress hits the hot button we all, yes all, tend to revert to patterns of behavior learned as children in our original organization, the family. Here is where we learned about how to handle anger, betrayal, communication, denial, emotions, fairness and favoritism.

Okay, Here is the way OUT of behavior that is makes us act like whiny babies or thumb sucking toddlers and stop what we learned as little tykes about being conflict cowards to become conflict competent.

1. Observe your behavior of a week and write down when you respond in a way that accelerates conflict rather than diminishes it

2. Understand where it came from in your family. All you need to do is sit quietly for a short time and remember….I promise, you will find the link.

3. Transform the patterns that get in the way to their positive opposites.

Need more info you can read “Don’t Bring it to Work” or take the free PatternAware quiz on www.sylvia lafair.com. And if you happen to be in Buffalo New York next week join me for an afternoon when I speak at the University of Buffalo about all the good stuff I just mentioned.

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