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Burger King goes north for an 'end run' around taxes

Will this device hold a donut?
Will this device hold a donut?
burger king corp.

Some U.S. companies are pretending a foreign subsidiary is their real owner hoping to avoid taxes with a ploy called ‘Inversion’.

Did the ‘King’ part go to Burger King’s head? http://burgerking.com

Burger King has announced a plan to renounce its U.S. citizenship and buy Tim Horton’s, a Canadian coffee and donuts company and move to Canada in a scheme to, as their accountants say, allow them to skirt that pesky tax issue. http://timhortons.com

According to a corporate spokesperson, “This is the best move we’ve made since we got rid of that scary ‘king head’ oh, and we’re all learning the Canadian National Anthem. It’s not as hard to sing.
It isn’t that we want to flout the law, but we’ve always wanted to move to their headquarters which are in Cana…..wait a minute, they have a corporate headquarters at 4150 Tuller Road Suite 236 Dublin OH 43017? OHIO???

Tim Horton’s has a headquarters in the UNITED STATES???”

(Memo to corporate lawyers: How the hell did this sneak by us?)

“Let them go” said Senators Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) and Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) it’s un-American to not eat American.”

“We don’t want to go the route of Walgreens, a BK spokesperson said, “Social media eviscerated them and made them re-think the move. They can always raise the price on hand lotion and face cream to make up for it. Are seniors on Instagram?

We’ve always played ‘ketchup’ to McDonald’s. Let’s just move to Canada anyway. Maybe we’ll find a more peaceful home where the ‘burger wars’ are not as fierce. What do they eat up there anyway? Well, Canadians don’t eat as many burgers as Americans. We believe they’re made of moose or caribou and those animals are a lot harder to catch than cows and not as friendly.”

“Since a lot of Canadians travel to Florida during the winter, we’ll just head north for the summer” said a mid-level manager at its Miami headquarters, “I think that’s only a couple of weeks in August though. BTW, will the ‘Whopper holder’ work with a donut?”