Mothers and fathers are responsible for developing their child’s character and ability to take care of themselves. The development should certainly begin at an early age. What is really important to know is that once you teach your child to make up his or her mind, it is beneficial to both of you to understand that making a choice may not always mean a good choice. This is where the training comes in – for both you and them.
It is certainly not easy to let your child make mistakes. As a parent you want to love and protect your babies – especially mothers. It is sometimes very difficult to let go! You may want to begin by role playing and the “what if” analysis. The next advancement step may be to limit the options that your child can choose from.
As time goes on, it is more and more important to teach and step back. When your child messes up, and it is only natural that they will mess up, it is recommended by professionals that you handle the situation with utter calm. To make a huge impression, take the child into a room with a mirror and ask the child who made the decision that was made that lead to the result. When your child tells you that they made the decision, look at them through the mirror, straight in the eye, and explain to them that they will have to live with the circumstances.
The impact of admitting that their decision may not have been a sound one will teach the child how important it is to think through their actions before they actually act. Learning to this degree will most certainly take time and a great deal of patience from the child’s parents, but in the end, it will certainly be worth any amount of time spent!
As the child grows and learns from his or her mistakes, the time spent will be lessened (if the child actually is a full-participant in their own life skills). As a parent it should feel good to know that your child is not making snap or rash decisions because it means that they are listening to you. Up until you give them the opportunity to decide for themselves, they are completely reliant on you to make their decisions for them. So even if they make a mistake, if they are allowed to make the initial decision, they will still feel better about it than if you make every decision for them.
Building up your child’s morale and giving them proper background in order to lead their own lives is helping your child in the long run. It will take lots of love, patience and commitment, but the sooner you get started, the better off everyone in the family will be! Happy parenting!