Divorce has become a national epidemic in the U.S. There are now 54 million single people in the U.S.. The divorce statistics for a second time marriage are reported to be as high as 67%. Divorce has become so prevalent that there is now a new documentary out on the high cost of divorce in America.
In case you do not want to become another statistic, Buddha has some profound advice on what to look for in a long term partner. In Rahula’s book, “The Buddha’s Teachings on Prosperity,” he sheds light on Buddha’s wisdom. Buddha stressed the importance of compatibility between a man and a wife. He cautioned against picking a partner on first impressions or intuition. This union often gets people into trouble since it tends to be unreliable.
Buddha did suggest having two people with similar practices and beliefs when it comes to spirituality. If Dan is strong in his beliefs of spiritual development while Lisa displays indifference, than neither is compatible. Some mates will pretend to be interested in what interests you in order to secure a mate. One must carefully evaluate and observe that this is not happening.
Next, a couple should display similar levels of wisdom. Wisdom can include many things from knowledge, emotional maturity, skill, ability to reason, and intellectual strength. It is also vital to develop one’s attitude. If one partner falls short than incompatibility will most likely surface. When this is highly variable then conflict often follows.
Next, Buddha mentions the importance of taking the time to observe the mate while dating. What observations do you notice while dating? Do the couples display similar attitudes and behavior? Buddha stressed the importance of similarities when it comes to behavior and attitudes. Yet in America we often see where opposites attract in many first marriages.
In addition, he comments on how different attitudes lead to incompatibility in relationships. If Dan is too giving or “altruistic” while Lisa is self-centered than the union is not compatible. Buddha suggests that similar altruistic people should marry each other for compatibility. Thus two self-centered souls will be more compatible since they understand each other.
The last suggestion was to marry a mate with similar levels of self-discipline. This will require a period of evaluation and observation. Dan might not notice Lisa’s lack of self-discipline in finances and career. They were dating in college and Lisa was pushing her school work and job aside to spend more time with Dan.
Buddha was pretty consistent about the importance of observing and evaluating a long term partner. Yet in America relationships often happen overnight. Perhaps following Buddha’s profound advice can keep you from becoming just another divorce statistic.