So, you've been asked to be a bridesmaid or bridesman, and, perhaps you are even the bride's Maid/Matron of Honor or Man of Honor. Before stepping up to the plate and accepting the position here are things to keep in mind, and, things you should and should not do as part of the wedding party and the bride's special day.
- Do offer to help and this applies to the bride as well as the Maid or Matron or Man of Honor.
- Do make your financial commitment upfront. For example, "I'd love to be your bridesmaid, but, I'm on a budget and I can only afford $200 total. Will this fit within the cost for the bridesmaids?" (There isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate honesty when it comes to committing to being member of a wedding party. If it's too expensive for you, simply tell the bride you are flattered but cannot afford to do it.)
- Do keep your mouth closed once you agree to be a member of the wedding party. This is not your day and you have absolutely no reason to demand anything from the bride. This ranges from price to style to color choices.
- Do be on time for bridal salon appointments. If you are the type that is always late then make sure you schedule your day accordingly.
- If you are fortunate enough to be among those helping the bride select her dress, be honest, but, don't be rude or obnoxious about it. For example, don't blurt out at the top of your lungs "your butt looks huge in that dress" say something more along the lines of "while I love the beading on the dress, the dress you had on before this one was more flattering." (This will help avoid hurt feelings and help make the bride feel less self conscious about body image issues she may have -- we all have them so just think how you'd feel.)
- Do respect the brides wishes. While you may love your tattoo and think it is great, the bride may hold other opinions. If she asks you to cover it up for the day. Do it. End of argument.
- Do not complain about cost. If you accept the position as a member of the wedding party then you assume the expenses that go with it. If you think it is something you can't afford to do then tell the bride upfront.
- Don't be harsh and do not criticize the bride -- about ANYTHING. This is HER day. Not yours.
- Don't ruin it for everyone else. More times than not there is always one overly opinionated person in the bridal party. This person takes over and makes things absolutely miserable for everyone else. If this is you, for once in your life keep silent and let everyone enjoy the day..
- Don't try to exclude or try to convince the bride to exclude someone close because of weight, gender or for any reason. It's not your place to impose your shallow viewpoints.
- Don't be afraid to buck tradition. If the bride's best friend is a man, there is no reason on Earth why he can't be Man of Honor.
- Don't lose a friend over bridesmaid issues. Work it out or risk losing a friend for life.
- Don't say mean or degrading things about anyone. This ranges from the other bridesmaids to the bride and groom. Insults are not welcome in this situation, and, you'll only make a fool out of yourself by trying to make others look bad.