After a breakup give yourself a complete makeover. I'm not just talking physically, I mean a whole new you makeover - emotionally, mentally, internally, and physically if you feel that you want to. Make a breakup be a cleansing period for you. A time for you to become the best you that you can be.
Some people say take a day or two to grieve over the breakup. I say do however long you need to until you feel you have it out of your system. That means take that time to cry (it cleanses your soul), listen to sad music, be alone, meditate, watch sad movies, or do anything that is not dangerous to you or anybody else to get it out of your system.
It's important to feel those feelings and to come to terms with acceptance of the fact that this is a breakup and there isn't a way to work things out with this person. That they are wrong for you. That you have grown and are expecting something else now that will be good for your future. If you don't go through this period you might go back and that would be disrespecting yourself in the situation. You would be accepting of something that isn't right for you and your growth anymore.
Once you get that out of the way, you can start focusing on you. Make sure to not have contact with the person you are breaking up with. That is the first rule to breaking up. You need time to heal and that time needs distance from that person for you to heal. If it wasn't a bad breakup maybe one day you can be friends, but for now it's not an option.
Reevaluate your life. Look at the people who talk to and hang around with. Look at your job, your lifestyle, the choices you are making on a day to day basis. Are they making you happy? Are they helping you to grow to be a better person? A lot of times when we look at these things we see that they are not fulfilling to us. Maybe that is why we stayed in a bad relationship for as long as we did because we were unhappy with our friends, our job, lifestyle, or anything else we were trying to avoid.
I know that after I got rid of many friends from my life who were only harming me, I became much more happy. Sometimes those people we knew for a long time we outgrow. Sometimes they change or you see that they weren't really fulfilling you or making you into a better person. Maybe where they think sleeping around and drinking too much is the answer to a breakup, you disagree. Or maybe their problems always came before yours and you felt cheated. Maybe they just were never there when you needed them. Either way, take a good long hard look at the people you associate yourself with. Make sure they are right for you.
If not get rid of them. Block them from your life. Don't call them, take them off your facebook account, and get new people who support how you live RIGHT NOW. We all change over time and with that friends change too. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a short while. New people will come to your life who will care about you and that will make you feel better about yourself.
Take a look at how your treating yourself on a daily basis. Are you exercising everyday or at least 4-5 times a week? Do you eat healthy? Do you make time for your priorities? Do you give yourself time to be alone with just you so you can relax and meditate? If not, start doing these things. You will see that your self esteem will raise when you take care of yourself. One of my problems was that I was too involved in helping others and needed to be around people who were bad for me anyway then in helping myself. When they got what they needed I felt empty. Make sure you give to yourself first. It's not selfish. It's just taking care of you.
Another thing to look at is your work environment. Is it fulfilling? Does it make you happy to see those people on a daily basis? Are you harming yourself by being around those people or situations? Do you love what you do for a living? If not, change it. It might be hard to just quit because of bills etc., but do a little something everyday to move toward your new goal of what you want to do with your life and where you want to work. Start applying to other places, or start reading books about or building your new business on the side. Whatever it is that you would like to do, just take action and start with little steps. Soon enough you will be where you want to be working, doing what you love and around the people you want to be around.
If you don't feel attractive after your breakup, maybe you gained weight during the relationship or you hate your clothes, hair color, or makeup routine. Change. Start working out everyday. Even if it's only 20 or 30 minutes of walking it will change the way you feel and pretty soon your body will change too. Get your hair dyed or a new hairstyle or cut. When I changed from a brunette to blonde I felt totally different. Start looking into other makeup routines. Treat yourself to some new makeup and nail polish. Buy yourself a few new outfits to wear that emphasize who you are right now. It will all make a difference in empowering yourself and the new you.
Pretty soon by doing these things you will feel like a new person. You will move on from the old relationship that you were crying over. Your old life and people in it will be left behind and what you will find in this new lifestyle is the real true you that you were looking to find in that person you broke up with and the friends and life you left behind. You will be giving you the gift of yourself. Be true to yourself.
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