AP Photo/Jim Prisching
It’s never easy to go through a breakup, especially when it comes to a long term relationship, and friends are just as difficult to part with as lovers—if not more so. You should give it a lot of thought before you pull the plug, and be sure you’re ready to end your friendship.
Before you make a decision either way, ask yourself a few questions:
1. How long have you been friends? Obviously, someone you’ve known since elementary school is harder to break up with than the buddy you met a few months ago.
2. How close are you? Changing your seat on the bus may make you feel a little guilty the first few times you see the lonely stare from the guy you usually sit next to, but the absence of a trusted confidant you see daily will be much worse.
3. Why are you breaking up? This is by far the most important question you need to examine during this process. Have you and your friend just drifted apart? Are you struggling to keep up a long distance friendship? Do you fight often? Have you just realized that your friend has been using you the whole time?
Once you’ve assessed the last question, it’s time to decide how to go about breaking the news. Generally, if you’re just losing touch with someone and don’t have much in common anymore, you don’t need to do anything. Things will naturally take their course and you’ll find that you won’t have to take much action whatsoever. If your friend is unwilling to let go, however, and ignoring any subtle hints you give off, you will need to be clear that things aren’t really working out. It’s always best not to completely sever ties; you never know when a mutual friend will put the two of you in the same room again. And who knows? You could end up circling back around in the future.
If things between you and your soon to be ex-friend are more on the angry side of things, you’ll have a more difficult time. Resist the urge to let your emotions control you; as satisfying as it would be to scream that you always hated her now, imagine how awkward it’ll be if you ever cross paths again. Take extra care if this is happening with a best friend you’ve known for a long time, too. The last thing you want to give him an opening to spill all those embarrassing secrets he’s been storing up over the years.
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